Disclaimer: Power Rangers belong to Saban. Q concept belongs to Paramount. Transformers belongs to Hasbro. Rogue Squadron concept belongs to George Lucas. All other characters are property of myself and Richard Carta. If you wish to use them, please ask our permission first.
The Rogue Ranger stood by his craft, a Nova Striker 450, the most heavily armed fighter ever created. Ravage came up to him, and took in the look of the Rogue Ranger's fighter with a glance. "I see you have an operational fusion cannon. They've been declared illegal by both the Alliance and the Council. I think-."
The Rogue Ranger interrupted rather savagely, "And it will come in very helpful, pussycat. The one thing that I'm sure of is that there's no way that I'm going to let you get rid of it. Have a problem?" he said rather defiantly to his squadron leader.
"Actually, no," Ravage said to the stunned silence of his subordinate. "I was going to say that the way you have it configured it will do the minimum amount of damage for the maximum energy expenditure. If you configure it like this," and he went up to it and fiddled around with the settings, "it will gain a 37% damage increase with a 46% drop in power usage. There." And with that he walked off to supervise the final preparations of his own fighter. And he missed something very important in the Rogue Ranger's eyes. The glimmerings of respect.
Ravage cursed in binary. "All fighters, break up into flights and engage enemy escort fighters. Sensors are being jammed, so we'll have to fly blind. 1, 2, 3, and 4 flights, on me. Flights 5, 6, and 7, escort the boarding shuttle. Choose your targets wisely, and remember, we're ROGUE SQUADRON, AND WE CAN DO ANYTHING!" As he chanted the final words of saying that Rogue Squadron said at the beginning of every battle, he felt at peace. The only time that he felt truly alive was when he was flying in combat.
Evil Q looked out the viewport and laughed. "Rogue Squadron, what a joke! Scramble all fighters, and let's have some fun. Eliminate them!" As he focused on Rogue Squadron, Evil Q made one of his few mistakes. Focusing on the obvious enemy, he completely missed out on the approaching boarding shuttle.
"Are we there yet?" Greenie asked his teammates.
"NO!" they all screamed at him, for about the 20th time in the past 2 minutes. Then, suddenly, they felt a clanking, as the shuttle docked at the airlock.
"Alright people, remember, we are the weirdos, the mighty, mighty weirdos, and the weirdos always, always, what?" Bulk asked his assembled team.
"Act weird, Bulkie?" Skull responded quizzically.
"Bulk stood dumbfounded for a moment, and then he slapped his head and said, "You're exactly right Skull, that is absolutely so stupid, that I guess it has to fit. So we are the weirdos, and we're going to do what we do best, act weird! So let's go there and rescue our fellow Rangers."
"IT'S BLUNDERING TIME!"
"NERD RANGER POWER!"
"POW RANGER POWER!"
"GEEK RANGER POWER!"
And together they screamed in unison, "WE ARE THE BLUNDER RANGERS, AND WE'RE DUMBER AND MORE DANGEROUS THAN ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED!" The shuttle pilot nearly fainted from the noise.
Space was full of fire, natural, and unnatural.
"Four, cover me! I can't shake him. Please, somebody hel - AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" as his fighter exploded into thousands of pieces of mixed metal and hyper heated and then frozen organic material, left to orbit in space until it would be dragged into the orbit of a planet or star, where it would finally be destroyed.
"We lost Seven! You worthless piece of Radulgah Trench!"
"Five, dive to the right, and I'll pick him off."
"Thanks for the assist twelve. Keep an eye on my back."
"Eat red hot protons slimeballs!"
"That maniac, he nearly took me out with a fusion cannon!"
"This is Rogue Lead. All fighters, initiate the Slasher Maneuver."
"What, are you crazy!?!? That will let them chop our right flank to pie -" his comment was interrupted by the explosion of his fighter."
"Initiating Slasher Maneuver now."
"They're prepping for a run on our right flank, and we're wide open!"
"Now, Five Flight, Spittor Assault!"
"They walked right into our torpedoes! Yeehaw!"
"Watch it Fifteen, you're drifting too close to that Mega Laser Floating mine."
"I know what I'm doing, just a little closer..."
"Now, Sixteen, while it's focusing on me, hit it with a full spread."
"This is Sixteen, target neutralized."
"We've got additional enemy squadrons launching, at least three full wings. There's no way we can handle that many! What's keeping the boarding party?"
Poindexter, dressed as a US Postal Employee, ran up to the guard at the dungeon entrace. "Telegram for Mr. Monster."
The monster blinked, confused, then shrugged and accepted the package. "It's from a Tim E. Bom, and I don't know any Tim E. Bom's. Gee, that seems funny, it sounds almost like a Time Bomb..." Then as he heard the ticking, he rushed to throw it away, and then the time bomb exploded, taking out not only the monster but also the entrace to the dungeon.
The captured Rangers heard the explosion, and their stupor immediately vanished as if it had never been there. Leo watched, stunned, as a Power Ranger with a Burger on his chest came up and yanked the chains from the wall. "Have we met?" he asked, confused.
"There's no time for idle chitchat. The Three Stooges are on in twenty minutes, and I'm not missing an episode because you were confused, startled, and generally dumbstuck." And with that, each of the Rangers was slung over a shoulder. Bulk pulled out a train whistle, and blew it. With that Bretta charged the wall, and knocked it down.
Evil Q immediately sensed that something was wrong. Focusing on the disturbance, he realized that the prisoners had escaped. With his focus disrupted, his fighters lost all direction, and he sent every monster on board after the Rangers.
"Hey, they're flying dumb!"
"This is easier than flying a sim mission against rookies!"
"I could rack up kills until my energy banks went dry and not have a scratch on me."
"All Rogues, disengage. Something's going on inside. Enter recharge cycle until we sense the enemy reactivating. I sense a trap."
With every bouncing step Bretta took, Maya and Kendrix were bounced up, usually into the low, overhanging ceiling. Their heads felt like they had been listening to heavy metal music since the dawn of time. With the pain as a focus, the two girls clenched their teeth together, and forced their way out of the grip of the Pow Ranger, and stood up. As they ran alongside, the other Rangers did so as well. Phantom became invisible, and raced further ahead to scout out any incoming enemies. There were plenty, and they were lead by Evil Q.
He was entirely focused on the Rangers, and he sent out bolts of energy that could've destroyed entire galaxies, but to the Blunder Rangers, it tickled. Evil Q increased his energy output, and when nothing happened, he felt a new emotion. It was fear. Then a voice spoke in his head. "Wondering why your power doesn't work, dear 'brother?' Well it just so happens that the Council of Q's wasn't pleased by the fact that you would make such a personal and direct interference, and they allowed me to step in and put a stop to it. Oh, and by the way, CATCH!" The Blunder Rangers, while this telepathic linkage had been going on, had pulled bowling balls out of nowhere, and had hurled them at the throng of monsters. The monsters were sent tumbling, and Evil Q was knocked out. Without his focus to hold it together, the monsters and the ship began to disintegrate.
The Blunder Rangers had a fairly quick race back to their ship, and they immediately took off. The assembled Rangers cheered, they were free, evil was defeated, and they were going home.
NOTE: So that's it for Q-Tastrophe. I hope that you have enjoyed it
much as I have enjoyed writing it. Send to me or to Richard Carta at
firstname.lastname@example.org your questions, comments, and suggestions for the
series. As always, may the power protect you.