A Day In Zoisite's Life
Zoisite awoke slowly. She still had bruises on over 90 percent
of her body from that Sailor Brat, Sailor Moon. “This sucks,” she
said to herself. She looked over to a sleeping Malachite. Last
night had not helped the bruises any, but it sure was fun. Zoisite
smiled to herself. Then, she heard Queen Beryl calling her. “Crap!”
she thought. She disappeared. That's it. No pink flower petals,
just a disappearing act. She was still beat.
“Yes, my queen?” she said humbly.
“Zoisite, you have failed me numerous times, and I'm SICK OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!” Queen Beryl's yell nearly deafened Zoisite.
“My queen, I'm sorry. It will not happen again.”
“Good. Now, I have a mission for you. It is a mission of
the utmost importance.” Zoisite was filled with anxiety. “Go to the
drug store and pick up a bottle of aspirin. I have a splitting
headache!”
“Ex...cuse me, my queen?”
“You heard me.” Zoisite felt like telling Queen Beryl to
shove it, but decided she wanted to live. “Take some money. I don't
want a big scene.”
“This from woman who wants to rule the entire universe,”
Zoisite thought. “It will be done,” she said. She disappeared, again
without the pink flower petals.
“I do hate it when she's hurt,” Queen Beryl said. “Those
flower petals are always so pretty.”
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Zoisite walked into the drug store and bought a bottle of
aspirin, just like she was told. She met Raye.
“You! What are you--”
“Raye! Long time no see!” Zoisite said. She did not want
another beating. Besides, she had been ordered to keep a low
profile.
“What?! We fought yest--”
“Shh! Let's talk outside.” Zoisite got a receipt from the
cashier, and walked outside. Raye followed.
“All right, Zoisite! What's the deal?”
“I don't want any trouble. Queen Beryl has a headache, and
she told me to get her some aspirin.”
“Likely story.” Raye saw that no one else was around, so she
transformed into Sailor Mars. “Mars Fire--”
“No! Pleeeaaassse don't hurt me!” Zoisite pleaded as she
fell to her knees. “I'll do anything!” A sweatdrop appeared on
Sailor Mars' head. What the hell was going on?
“Uuuhhh--what the heck...?”
“I don't want to die! I'm too young to die!” said the
pleading Zoisite. “Just let me get this aspirin to Queen Beryl!”
Mars did not know what to say. Zoisite took advantage of the pause
and disappeared.
“Where have all the flowers gone?” Raye asked herself.
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Zoisite appeared before her queen. “Here is the aspirin--”
“Yes, yes, just give it to me!”
“What?”
“Just give it to me?” Zoisite completely misunderstood what
Queen Beryl meant, and attacked her! “What the HELL do you think you
are DOING!!!!?”
“You said to give it to you.”
“Oh. I forgot you're a moron. Give the aspirin to me!”
Zoisite handed over the aspirin, and Queen Beryl took every pill in
the bottle!
“Queen Beryl, perhaps--”
“Oh, shut up and go get in bed! Maybe Malachite can make
you---” Queen Beryl did not finish. Instead, she fell over. The
Negadoctor, Hydrogite,appeared. He examined her, then reached a
diagnosis.
“She overdosed.”
“What...?” asked a startled Zoisite.
“Overdosed. Happens every time one from the Negaverse take
Earth pills. They never think they will be enough, and they OD.” The
Negadoctordisappeared, but left behind a bill.
“What?! 500 Negadollars! This is outrageous!” She then
heard a voice.
“You should see my bills to the ones that are alive.”
Zoisite wrote a Negacheck.
“There goes my life savings...” She sent the Negacheck to
the doctor, and went back to bed. Right before she fell asleep,
Malachite awoke.
“Hey, baby. How are you?” Malachite asked.
“Sore. I'm taking a sick day.”
“I better report for duty, then.”
“Don't bother. So is Queen Beryl.”
“Queen BERYL is taking a SICK DAY?! I don't believe it!”
“Yeah. She'll be taking a lot of them.”
“Why?” asked a still surprised Malachite.
“She's dead,” said a sleepy Zoisite.
“What?!”
“She overdosed on aspirin.” Malachite felt better.
“Oh, hallelujah!” Malachite plopped bach down on the bed.
“Let's get some sleep,” Malachite said as he snuggled next to
Zoisite.
“Malachite, what's that poking my butt?” Malachite felt
uneasy.
“I-I-don't...know.”
“Oh. I was hoping it was your magic rod.” Now Malachite was
thinking of a way to score some points, even if it was only a field
goal. He could not think of anything.
“Damn!” he thought. “Oh, well, I AM kind of tired.” He fell
asleep, as did Zoisite. They slept throught the entire day, and had
fun all night (hint, hint).