Disclaimers: OK, here we go. All the characters used in this story, unfortunately, do not belong to me. The MMPR characters belong to Haim Saban, and Jake Winters belongs to the maker of Red Shoe Diaries: Zalman King, and Showtime.
Rating and Archiving: I'll say PG-13 for now, because of profanity and a little make out scene. Also, I tried to put as much anguish as possible into this, so I hope it worked. Anyway, please archive this story! I want to be accepted!
Time Frame: For MMPR, I'll say that this takes place during Zeo, maybe close to when the Gold Ranger appeared for the first time, but not quite there yet. In other words, yes, there's Billy, and no, there's no Jason. As for RSD, it's a couple of episodes after the pilot *which is amazing! Oooh, I have to go watch it again! I hightly recommend seeing the pilot episode, if you haven't already. Wait, only see it if you're allowed to see R rated movies, because this one is rated R. Just to tell you, Billy Wilth, Brigette Bako, and David Duchovny were amazing. OK, enough about RSD. Let's move on*
Kimberly Hart sat on her bed in a white spaghetti strap tank top and pink shorts and stared out of her window at Florida's night sky. "I wonder if Tommy sees the same stars," She thought aloud. Saying this just brought back memories of the numerous times she and Tommy had laid back on the grass by Angel Grove Lake and looked up at the stars. Kim sighed.
Taking her white blanket and covering herself with it, Kim picked up the newspaper laying on her bed. Instinctively, she flipped to the personals. Kim had never known why she always went to the personals first. Maybe she thought I'm just trying to get lucky
Looking at the paper, her eyes caught a glimpse of an interesting looking
ad. She brought the paper closer to her eyes and began to read:
*Women, do you keep a diary? Have you been betrayed? Have you betrayed another? Man, 35, wounded and alone recovering from loss of once in a lifetime love. Looking for reasons why. Willing to pay top $$$ for your experiences. Please send all diaries to Red Shoes. All submissions will be kept strictly confidential.*
Kim stared at the ad for a long time, deep in thought, Did I really betray Tommy? I never had another boyfriend, but I thought that Tommy would be happier if he weren't tied down! Then again, Kat wrote me and told me how hard he was taking the breakup. Oh, shit! Now, there was no doubt in her mind about what she was going to do. She had to write to Red Shoes.
Wait! She couldn't send him her diary! Looking at the pink book laying on her table, she resisted the urge to lie back and sob. Inside of that book were her greatest secrets, not just about how she truly felt about Tommy and what she'd done to him, but about being a power ranger as well. If she sent the diary, then this Red Shoes would know that she was a former ranger, and he/she would know that Tommy, Rocky, Adam, Tanya, and Kat were all rangers now.
Still, Kim knew that she had to tell someone about her grief. Picking up a pad of paper, she began the letter to the mysterious Red Shoes. * * *
Jake Winters entered the loft that he had once shared with his lost Alex, stopping briefly to pat her dog, Stella. Well, now Stella was his dog, and he loved her. Jake didn't only love the dog because she was his companion, but he also felt that the dog was part of Alex, and it was a part of her that he deeply cared for.
Taking off his black trenchcoat, Jake picked up his mail and scanned through it. "Bills," he muttered. Just then, a small pink envelope caught his eye, and, picking it up, he saw it was addressed to Red Shoes. Slowly opening the envelope, Jake felt memories of Alex's suicide fill his mind again. Shaking them away, he looked down at the letter in his hands.
*Dear Red Shoes,
I can't believe that I'm writing this. It's been really hard to talk about my experiences, so I'll try and do the best that I can. I'm 17, and I live in Florida. Originally, I lived in Angel Grove, California, and that was where my story started. I guess I should apologize in advance about not sending you my diary, but there are secrets in there that I would rather not reveal at the moment. Anyway, in Angel Grove was where I met him. Tommy Oliver. He was, and still is, the sweetest, cutest, and most caring guy I have ever met.
Finally, Tommy asked me to go to this dance with him, and, eagerly, I agreed. I ended up going out with Tommy for more than a year, and, I can honestly tell you, that I was madly in love with him. Then, the opportunity of a lifetime came for me. I had the chance to move to Florida and participate in the Pan-Global Games. I'm a gymnast, and that had always been my dream. Yes, it was hard to leave Tommy, but he had sworn his love to me, and I knew that I could trust him. At least, I thought I could. Once I was in Florida, something changed between us. It was as if being far away from each other meant that we couldn't be the same fiery couple that we once were. Finally, I had had it. I wrote him and told him that I had met someone else, which was obviously a lie, but he believed it. My friend, Katherine, told me that Tommy was so devastated that he sulked around for what seemed like months! Plus, the first week after he got the letter, he barely ate or slept. Another friend of mine, Adam, called me and said that when they were out at night, Tommy would look up at the stars, and then make some excuse to go home. Adam had known Tommy had left only because he felt the need to cry, or sulk some more. I felt awful then, and I still feel like trash. Red Shoes, it's been a big help to write this letter. Thank you for taking the time to read this. No payment necessary.
Jake read the letter with a kind of strange interest and fascination. It amazed him that such passion and devastation could reach even the youngest of people. 17!? Kimberly wasn't even of drinking age, and already she had gone through so much pain. Jake's mind wandered to the late Alex. He could see her twirling around in the spotlight he had put on her so long ago. Jake watched as she swirled gracefully like an angel. Around and around and around. He was shaken from his pensive state as a tear rolled down his cheek. Furiously wiping it away, Jake looked at the letter once again. Angel Grove, eh? That's not to far from here, and I can't just let this girl go on living in misery. It's not like I'm doing anything. Maybe I could find this Tommy Oliver
It was a crazy idea. Jake didn't doubt that it was, but after being through what he had been through, he didn't want anyone to be in that much pain, especially someone so young. He looked at Stella and smiled weakly, "Hey, girl, how would you like to go to Angel Grove?"* * *
Tommy Oliver and Rocky DeSantos were sparring on the mats inside of the Angel Grove Youth Center. Adam Park was sitting at a table with his girlfriend, Tanya Sloan, and both were trying to help Rocky stay on his feet. Tanya smiled, "Try hitting him the other way next time, Rocky."
"What way is that?" Rocky asked. The distraction was enough for Tommy, who took the opportunity to knock the other boy on his ass. "Oof!"
"Hey, Tommy, you knew he was distracted!" Adam laughed.
Tommy shrugged, "I couldn't pass up the opportunity." He looked up at Rocky, an evil grin on his face.
Rocky looked at his friend in total horror, "Not again!"
"Rocky, look out!" Tanya called, but it was too late. Rocky was already on his butt. Tommy reached out his hand to Rocky, but he merely pushed it away, taking the time to rest on the mats.
At that time, Katherine Hilliard entered the youth center, quickly spotting Adam and Tanya clad in green and yellow. What no one in Angel Grove knew, was that Katherine, Rocky, Tommy, Adam, and Tanya made up the Zeo Rangers, and the five were glad it was that way. Actually, Tommy's brother, David, knew of their secret, but he had been sworn to silence. Kat walked over to Tanya and looked over her shoulder to see Tommy kick Rocky to the floor again. She giggled as Adam called out, "It's all right, Rocky. You almost had him."
From the other side of the room, Rocky smirked, "Yeah, right."
Tommy, seeing Kat, helped Rocky to his feet, "Let's call it quits for now, Rocky. You got me beat."
"Sure," Rocky laughed, "Although I think I was the one who got beat."
The two boys walked over to join the others. Kat smiled at Tommy, "You looked good over there."
"Thanks," Tommy replied. He gestured at Rocky, "He's getting better."
Tanya grinned, "Thanks to his coaches."
Rocky rubbed Adam and Tanya's shoulders, "Yeah, thanks guys. I'll beat Tommy next time."
Adam sighed, "I wouldn't go that far." The five laughed, and remained totally oblivious to the man wearing a gray shirt and black pants that entered the Juice Bar. * * *
Jake looked at the Juice Bar sign outside of the Angel Grove Youth Center.
Seeing all of the young adults walking in and out of the place, he couldn't
help but smile,
"Yeah," Jake said, "I'm looking for a boy. He shouldn't be more than 17 or 18."
The man shrugged, "You got a name to go with the age?"
Jake nodded, "Yeah, um, what's your name?" "Ernie," The man responded, "So, what's the name?"
"Tommy Oliver. Is he here?"
Ernie's eyes lit up, "Tommy? Sure, he's over there." He pointed at the round table where five teenagers were laughing and talking happily.
Jake sighed, "Which one?"
"The one in red," Ernie said. He pointed at a menu laying on the counter, "You want anything?"
"No, thanks," Jake said. Nodding his appreciation, he began towards the table. * * * Tommy was about to tell another joke relating to martial arts, when, all of a sudden, he felt someone lightly tap his shoulder. Turning around, he looked up into the face of an adult male, who was looking down on him. Shaking off his surprise, Tommy stood up, "Can I help you?"
"Are you Tommy Oliver?" Jake asked him.
Tommy nodded, "That's me. I'm sorry, you are?"
Jake stuck out his hand, "Jake. Jake Winters. Let me tell you, Tommy, I've been trying to find you everywhere."
Tommy looked at Jake, confused, "Maybe I have a bad memory, but I don't believe we've ever met."
Jake nodded, "That's right. We've never met, Tommy. Please, can we step outside so that I can explain myself." Tommy looked down at his four friends, hesitantly. They stared up at him, speechless. Jake gestured towards the door, "Please, I don't want to talk in front of all these people, and I don't think you will, either."
Tommy nodded, reluctantly, "O-Kay. Um, guys, I'll see you later?" The four nodded, still shocked. Tommy hesitantly followed Jake out of the Youth Center.
Rocky looked at the others, "Who the hell was that?"
Adam shrugged, "I have no clue. He didn't look like a policeman or anything. Hmmm...."
"I hope Tommy will be OK," Kat murmured.
Tanya looked at her, slyly, "You have a major crush, girl." Kat blushed. * * *
Jake and Tommy walked for about five minutes in silence. Finally, when they reached the park, Tommy stopped and faced Jake, "Now, what's this about?" Looking into his eyes, Tommy thought he saw a faint glimmer of sadness, and his eyes seemed haunted.
Jake ignored him, and leaned against a tree, picking up a rock and throwing it into the water. It skimmed the surface a few times before finally sinking. He looked at Tommy and smiled, "Well, you're obviously an athletic boy, Tommy. Are you into sports?"
Tommy looked at the man suspiciously, before continuing, "I'm into martial arts. Why?"
"Just what I said, Tommy. You seem really athletic. I bet you could beat up any kid in your school, right?"
"I'd never think of that," Tommy said, darkly. He glared at Jake, "What do you want from me?"
Once again, Jake ignored him, "So, you have a girlfriend?"
"What's it to you?" Tommy growled, beginning to back away from Jake.
Jake looked at him, "I just want to get to know you better, Tommy. Now, do you have a girlfriend?"
"No," Tommy replied tersely. "Well, I've enjoyed this little chat, Mr. Winters-"
"Yuck!" Jake replied, "Please, just Jake. Never Mr. Winters. It reminds me of my dad."
"I've enjoyed this conversation, _Jake_. Unfortunately, I have things to do, so, if you don't mind." Tommy began to walk away, but Jake held him back, pushing him into a tree. Tommy quickly got up and looked at him, surprised and angry, "What the hell is your problem, man!? What do you want!?"
Instead of answering angrily, Jake handed the young teen a folded piece of paper. He sighed, "I see you're in no mood to talk, so meet me right here at the time on that paper. Believe me, Tommy, you want to come." With that, he walked away.
Looking at the piece of paper, Tommy unfolded it and brought it closer to his eyes *Tommy, meet me by the lake at 8:00pm. I want to talk to you about some personal things, so I would recommend that you come, Jake* Sighing, Tommy put the note in the pocket of his blue jeans, tightened his ponytail, and walked back to the Youth Center. Who the hell is that guy? Tommy asked himself. * * *
Tommy ran through the now shadowy Angel Grove Park. "Of course I forget to bring a damn flashlight," he thought aloud. His pensive state was interrupted when a foot popped out of nowhere, tripping him. Looking up to see his attacker, the only person Tommy saw was Jake Winters, who was looking at him, laughing. "Tommy, I swear that I didn't mean to trip you."
"I'm sure that's the truth," Tommy replied, sarcastically, pulling himself to his feet and brushing himself off.
Jake shined a small flashlight on his watch and `tsked' "Shit, Tommy, you're a half hour late! Are you always this forgetful, or are you just treating me specially?"
"You said you wanted to talk," Tommy said, ignoring Jake's comment, "So talk." Shivering, he pulled his red jacket tighter around him, and sat down on the grass.
Jake sat down next to him, wrapping his black trenchcoat around himself. He was now wearing blue jeans, with a dark blue dress shirt underneath his coat. Jake sighed, "Some say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Do you believe that, Tommy?"
Though it should have been an easy question, Tommy took a long time to reflect on it. Memories of Kim came rushing back, taunting him. I've pushed you away for this long he told himself mentally and I won't let you overtake me now. Not here He looked at Jake, "No, I don't believe that's true."
Jake chuckled, "Neither do I. You and me are similar, Tommy. I know almost everything about you, but you don't know anything about me. Would you like to know?"
Tommy nodded, "Sure, but how do you know about me?"
"I'll answer that later," Jake said. He shook his head, sadly, "I hope you never have to know my pain, Tommy. It started with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her name was Alex, and I had been going out with her for six months. We were so close. So close that I knew every fucking thing about her. I knew what made her happy, I knew what fascinated her, and I knew what scared the hell outta her. I guess she didn't like that. Alex wanted to have a secret. Something that I couldn't share, so she got involved with another man behind my back. It was meant to be a harmless fling. Just meaningless sex," He took in a shaky breath, looking at the ground, "The bastard wouldn't let her go. I, the stupid asshole that I am, was oblivious to the whole thing. I asked Alex to marry me, and she said she would. Finally, she was so confused that she ended up slitting her wrists in the bathtub." By now, Jake's eyes were filled with tears.
Tommy looked at him, full of both sympathy and empathy, "Man, I-I'm so sorry. Did you get the guy?"
"Yeah," Jake spat, "I got the asshole. His name was Tom. He was a fucking shoe salesman! We got into this big fight at this warehouse, and it ended with him knocking me out. That's why I'm choosing not to get on your bad side, because I can tell you could do the same thing. Anyway, I placed an ad in the paper asking for people who had been betrayed or had betrayed another to send me their diaries so that I could read them and try to figure out why Alex did this to me." Now, Jake was crying softly, and, not knowing what else to do, Tommy pulled him into his embrace. It didn't take long for Jake to pull himself together, and he quickly pushed himself away from the boy. He laughed weakly, "Look at this. I come to help you, and I end up blubbering like a stupid baby!"
"That must have been tough, man," Tommy said, reassuringly, "It's all right to fall apart. I know I did when-" He stopped abruptly and looked into Jake's eyes, "Can I trust you?"
"I trusted you, didn't I?" Jake reasoned.
Tommy nodded, "I really have no idea what it must have been like for you when Alex died, so I won't lie, but I had a girlfriend, Kimberly, who I was going out with for more than a year. I swear, I was in love with her. This wasn't just lust, I really was in love with her. She went off to Florida to do some gymnastics thing, and I supported her 100%. Then, she sent me a letter one day telling me that everything was over. After that, I kinda fell apart. I wouldn't eat or sleep, and I could barely do anything without having visions of her. Sometimes, I still get depressed, but I've learned to live with the guilt."
Jake looked at the despairing boy, confused, "Guilt?"
"Yeah," Tommy explained, "I mean, whatever happened must have been my fault. Maybe I didn't call her enough, or maybe I should have written her more often. Damn it, I tried, but it was just so hard. We had different lives, but that didn't mean that I wanted to give up on our relationship! I loved her, and I still do." By the time he finished the sentence, his voice was no more than a whisper. At this point, both Jake and Tommy were sobbing, and they held eachother for comfort.
Jake pulled himself together long enough to pull a piece of paper out of his pocket. Handing it to Tommy, he looked into the teen's eyes, "There's no more hope for me, Sport, but there is hope for you. You, my friend, just need to take control."
Tommy took the paper and looked at it, quickly seeing that the writer of the letter was Kim. Reading the note, he began to cry once again. "I never knew," he whispered, "Why didn't she just tell me?"
"She was confused and aching," Jake explained, "Just like you."
Tommy looked at Jake, "So you're Red Shoes? This girl I know had a friend who wrote to you."
Jake looked at Tommy, and his eyes brightened, "Hey, you have spring break coming up, right?"
"This coming week. Why?"
Jake grinned, "I have some extra money..."
Tommy glanced at him, shocked, "You don't mean-"
"Yes I do, Sport. I think it's time for you to try and rekindle your relationship."
Tommy sighed, "I don't know if I can do it. I mean, it's been so long. I'll be afraid to see her again."
"If you really love her, then you'll do it," Jake said.
That was all Tommy needed, "I gotta make sure it's OK with my folks, but they're usually cool."
Jake sighed, "And I need to get Stella a holding cage."
Jake smiled, "My dog."
Tommy looked at him, "You're coming?"
Jake smirked, "Of course! This was my idea, Sport, and I'm not going to have you hogging all the credit."
Tommy chuckled before standing up, "I don't know how to thank you, man."
Jake sighed, "There'd only be one way to thank me, Tommy, and I know you don't have the power to do it." Tommy, understanding what he meant, shook his head in sympathy and helped Jake to his feet. The two began towards the bright lights of the city, side by side. * * *
*Two days later*
Kim grabbed her pink towel and dried herself off. She had just spent another grueling day in the gym with her personal coach. Yes, Kim enjoyed the thrill of being in Florida and doing gymnastics, but it was also hard work and very lonely. She had met a few girls at the gym, and she had a good buddy across the hall, but besides that, there was no one. Wrapping the towel around herself, Kim walked into her room and began to change.
Once she had gotten into her pink nightgown, Kim sat down on her bed and fished through her mail. All that she had received were catalogs. A tear rolled down her cheek. Somehow, she had been hoping that there would have been something from him...but now she finally realized that he wasn't going to write. Tommy wasn't going to call, and he definitely wasn't going to come and save her from her loneliness.
Now the tears were flowing freely, and Kim curled into a ball on her bed. Just then, she heard a voice. It seemed like no more than a whisper, but she could have sworn that it was... It can't be she told herself He wouldn't come to see you, bitch, so now you're just hallucinating She laid back down on her bed and continued to cry.
Just then, she heard the voice again. "Kim." It called.
Kim shook her head. "It's not him," she cried, aloud.
"Kim," the voice called again. Now, she knew the voice. She knew who it was.
"Tommy?" She whispered. Wiping her tears with her hand, Kim got off her bed, and walked to the door of her dorm room. "Tommy?"
She pulled the door open, and almost fainted. He was there, just watching her, with a big smile on his face. Kim screamed joyfully and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the embrace, "Kim, oh gosh, you don't know how much I've wanted this moment to come."
"I thought that I'd never see you again!" She cried, fresh tears falling from her eyes.
Tommy broke away first, and caressed a tear away from her cheek. He sighed contentedly, "I missed you." Leaning forward, he kissed her gently. Kim turned away from him, guilty, "Tommy, the letter that I wrote wasn't-"
"It wasn't real," Tommy finished for her, "I know that now, though I didn't know before."
Kim looked at him, puzzled, "How did you find out? I mean, Kat didn't even know that the letter was fake."
He didn't have to answer. Jake entered the room, scowling, "This place has some kind of `no pets' policy. It took me a long time just to get that asshole guard to hold on to Stella so I could come up!" Seeing Kim, he smiled and took her hand, "Hello."
Kim looked at Tommy, "Who's this?"
"Red Shoes," Jake whispered. Kim looked at him, appalled.
Tommy smiled, "This is Jake Winters. I met him in Angel Grove."
"Red Shoes," Kim gasped, "How, I mean, why...?"
"Why did I intervene?" Jake asked for her. He sighed, "I couldn't let such a young couple fade away just like that. The pain and suffering that I have endured should not placed on such a young couple. You're 17 and he's 18! There's still a chance for you two. I have no chance."
Tommy grinned, and kissed Kim once again. It seemed to go on forever, until Jake cut in, "I think my work is done."
Tommy looked at him, "I don't even know how to thank you. I mean, you've given us both so much!"
Jake shook his head, "I'm not asking for any payment, Sport. What I did, I did because I wanted to help."
"Thank you," Kim said.
"Actually, there is one thing," Jake pulled out a camera, "May I?"
The two shrugged, and got closer together. Smiling, Jake took the picture. He sighed, "Well, I'd better go. My flight leaves in an hour." He handed a ticket to Tommy, "And you leave in a few days. See ya around, Sport." After nodding politely at Kim and patting Tommy on the shoulder Jake left the dorm room.
Tommy sighed, "Poor Jake. I wish there was something I could do to bring him happiness."
"What happened to him?"
Tommy smiled, sadly, "Let's not talk about it now. The story's kinda depressing."
Kim looked at Tommy, "I never meant to hurt you."
Tommy nodded, "Likewise. Kim, I want to start over. Please, can I have a second chance?"
Kim giggled, "Only if I can have a second chance."
Tommy smiled, "I love you."
"I love you, too." The two kissed again, moving closer to Kim's bed.
Tommy looked at Kim, his eyes full of desire, "Should we?"
Kim breathed deeply before nodding, "I want you, Tommy Oliver."
Tommy quickly began to take off his jacket as Kim caressed his chest. Sighing, the two gazed passionately into eachother's eyes, and there was no more talking the rest of the night. * * *
Kim awoke, under her covers, naked, alarmed to find the sun brightly shining into the room. Rubbing her eyes, she grinned at Tommy, who was still sleeping peacefully at her side, chest exposed. Glancing at her clock, Kim was quickly shaken from her groggy state. "Shit!" She exclaimed, "I was supposed to be at group practice an hour ago!"
Tommy woke up, startled, and stared at her, "What?"
"I'm missing group, Tommy!" Kim cried, "Coach is going to kill me!"
Tommy sighed and rolled onto his side, looking at Kim, "Just tell him you didn't feel well this morning, and that you felt like you should take it easy."
Kim sighed, "I guess I could." She glanced at Tommy and smiled, "Maybe you could help me feel better."
Tommy leaned closer to her and planted kisses all along her neck, "I'll do my best."
Kim grinned and rubbed Tommy's chest. Tommy looked up from her neck, and kissed Kim passionately. She returned to kiss, and rolled on top of her boyfriend. She sighed, "I can't stand to lose you again."
"Kim, we'll make this work. I promise to call you and write to you as often as I can, and on holidays I'll fly over to see you. Believe me, I'm not going to lose you again. Jake told me that if I love you enough, then I'll do whatever possible to keep the relationship going, and I love you more than I love myself, Kimberly Hart. I'm never going to let you go again."
Kim rested her head on Tommy's shoulder, "So, now that I'm not going to practice, I really want to know. What happened to Jake that made him so depressed?" Tommy shook his head, sadly, "Well, it all started with a woman named Alex, who wanted to have a secret all to herself..." * * * Jake walked into the empty loft, patting Stella before sitting, depressed, on his couch. He glanced at the floor, where Alex's red diary laid. Jake remembered the heartache caused by that book, and though a part of him wanted more than anything to get rid of it, there was an even bigger part of him that couldn't throw it away. Burying his head in his hand for a moment, Jake rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to stop himself from bursting into tears.
Shaking away the memories of Alex for a moment, Jake pulled the pictures that he had just gotten developed out of the envelope they were in. Jake looked through them quickly, smiling at the one of Tommy and Kim. He sighed, "I'm sure that one day I'll be seeing them again.
Putting the pictures down on the coffee table, Jake picked up his newest mail. There was a small package laying on top of everything else, so he picked it up and opened it. From the box came a little flowered book. From the book, a white sheet of paper stuck out. Pulling out the paper, Jake unfolded it, and began to read *Dear Red Shoes....*
Author's Note 1: Yes, this is a Tommy/Kimberly `get back together' story, but, for the record, Kat did NOT take Tommy from Kimberly. In fact, I have nothing against Tommy and Kat going out, because I think they make a cute couple. Nowhere near as cute as Tommy and Kim, but still...OK. Anyway, my other stories include Reunited, Convulsion, and the first two parts of the Allied Evil Series: The New Evil and Perfect Likeness. This story is a stand alone. Well, I guess that's it. On with the show!
Author's Note 2: Well, what did ya think? Did you like it? Did it suck? Did you MMPR fans have no idea what was going on with Jake Winters? Did you RSD fans have no idea what was going on between Kimberly Hart and Tommy Oliver? Well, I'm sorry for the confusion. If you have some comments of CREATIVE criticisms for me, or you just want to understand the story better. Thanks again for reading. Oh, should there be a sequel. Please, E-mail me if you want to see more of this, because if I don't get a lot of feedback, then I probably won't write the sequel.