Dedication: To the one person who probably deserves to have me feel angry at them. This one is for you Ben...maybe this'll satisfy the anger that I simply can't bring myself to feel towards you.
You made me forget.
I know that's certain. It's probably the only thing I'm clear about. Ever since the last battle so long ago, I've wondered where you've been. Do you think about me? Do you even remember me?
Probably not...or maybe you do and think about me day and night like I once had. Could you? I doubt it; if you had you would have come to me by now or at least let me know you were alright! But no. You couldn't even do that.
Makes me wonder why I've been mooning over you for so long like one of those fan-crazed girls drooling all over Zhane, Carlos, T.J. and Andros when we were younger. I swear, sometimes those girls would do the strangest things...I always marveled at the way Ashley handled them all drooling over Andros.
I was always a love-sick puppy when you were around me. You had some strange hold over me...maybe because you were that tall, dark and mysterious stereo-type that I thought was "oh-so-sexy" back then; so many years ago when I was still a young, flourishing and learning Power Ranger.
Now, look at me. Years later, I've experienced losing all the Turbo Zords, losing the Power Chamber, losing a close friend, traveling through space, losing you again, facing a set of evil rangers, losing another new set of zords and fighting for the whole damn universe! And then I faced real life. Boy, was that the kicker! But still, here I am moping over a memory.
Technically, I guess you could say I'm mad at you. Technically. I, of course, don't blame you for making me fall in love with you, but I am mad at you for leading me on and then leaving me hanging. If I didn't know any better, I could swear you knew exactly how I felt for you; and yet, you deserted me after you were done with me. Yeah, that's how I felt and sometimes continue to feel. I feel like a toy that you played with for awhile, then got tired of.
Of course, I'm also mad at myself for falling for you so hard and so damn fast. I have never believed in love at first sight and my "so-called" relationship with you just gave me more reason not to. I'm too independent to believe in that kinda stuff...so it continues to amuse and amaze me that I once loved you without even seeing your face.
It also disgusts me to the point where it's nauseating.
Now that all of my aggression is out of the way, to the nice part of this thing.
Ironically, I also have you to thank. Yes, I am thanking you for breaking my heart and temporarily wounding my pride. If it hadn't been for you, I would have never found my true love. I guess you were a kinda lesson for me; a test.
I'm glad you didn't come back or let me know you felt for me...I truly am. I like my life now; I'm settled and I'm happy with the people that I love surrounding me constantly. So here's me tipping you a small "thank you" your way, Phantom. You may have known my future, but in any case thanks for being that speed bump before the smooth road for me.
And now, as I finish this letter I hope you know how I feel about you. I do hate you, but also I do appreciate what you have done for me. Is that possible? Oh well, even if it isn't, that's the way I feel now.
Just remember, you made me forget.
Cassie read over her writing once more, tracing her fingers along with the pen's black ink. *This is it* she sighed inwardly *I'm letting go of him forever now.*
Standing up from the desk she was at, the former Pink Ranger slowly maneuvered her way over to the blazing fireplace on the other side of the room; the letter folded in her hand. For a second she just stood silently, gazing at the pictures on the mantle and listening to the crackles of fire. Then, without another thought, Cassie tossed the letter into the orange flames.
"Cassie, you in here?" another voice came to her ears, as the fire consumed the letter quickly; it disappearing into sparks that floated up into the chimney.
Cassie smiled softly, turning around to face her husband and companion. "I'm here, alright."
He made his way over to her as she returned her eyes to the fireplace and encircled her from behind with his arms. "Are you ready go to the party?" he murmured into her hair gently.
"Uh-huh," she replied, off in her thoughts.
He noticed that she was distracted and asked, with concern in his voice, "Cassie, are you alright?" He placed his hands against her rather large belly. "Is it the baby?"
The twenty-seven year old woman shook her head. "No, I'm fine," she reassured softly, laying her hands onto top of his. "I was just thinking about some stuff."
"Like what?" he questioned, a grin quirking on his lips.
"Nothing important, Zhane," she grinned, turning and facing him. "I was looking back on the last ten years and how great they've been, even after all the sacrifices."
A frown touched Zhane's features and he gaze deeply into her eyes. "You were thinking about the Phantom, weren't you?" His voice wasn't accusing or angry, more sorrowful.
Cassie nodded her head. "I was; but that doesn't matter now. He's part of my past and I don't care for the past much anymore," she paused, hugging Zhane close to her. "I only see my future with you now..."
* Just to make it clear, I do NOT have a vendetta against the
Phantom Ranger or anything. ;) It's just the opposite. Cassie/Phantom are a
perfect match my eyes, but just the same, Cassie/Zhane is too...as is
Cassie with anyone. *chuckles* This was just something I really needed to
get out of my system before I could continue writing anything else.