Alpha's Gotta GO!!
A short parody
by Kay Enasni

It was a fine spring day in the city of Angel Grove. But at the Power chamber it was different. There was trouble brewing. And no toilets in the facility.

Alpha: Zordon!!! Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi! I can't find a toilet!
Zordon: THERE ARE NONE, STUPID!
Alpha: (Running around the chamber clutching his crotch.) But I gotta go!
Zordon: (Irritated.) YOU'RE A ROBOT, DUMMY.
Alpha: But I gotta go!!!
Zordon: FINE. I'LL CONTACT BILLY ON AQUITAR. HE MAY BE ABLE TO HELP.

The robot removed one hand from his crotch and pressed some buttons on the control panel. Seconds later, Billy appeared on the viewing globe.

Billy: Whadaya want?
Zordon: I'M AFRAID WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
Billy: Another one! What is it this time. Has Tommy been murdered? Kat lose her puppy? Has Rocky snapped and is now trying to chase his tail? Is Adam still contemplating that 2+2=4? Or is Tanya trying to figure out why her new horse hair is cheaper than regular hair.
Zordon: FAR WORSE THAN THAT, BILLY. ALPHA HAS TO PEE.
Billy: Oh no! That's tragic.
Zordon: CAN YOU COME IN AND HELP HIM?

Alpha runs past the viewing globe.

Alpha: Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi! I gotta go!
Billy: Well, I was kinda in the middle of something. But that can wait. I'll be there as soon as I can.
Zordon: THANK YOU BILLY.
Billy teleports in.
Billy: Now Alpha, what seems to be the problem?
Alpha: I gotta go!
Billy: (Looks deep in thought.)
Alpha: Hurry! I don't know how much longer I can hold it!
Billy: (Nods head and continues looking deep in thought.)
Alpha: Please!
Billy: Shut up- I'm thinking. (Continues thinking.)
Alpha: Billeeee!

Billy continues thinking- there is the slight smell of bacon and there is smoke coming out of his head.

Alpha: Oh!!!!

Billy rubs his head and looks deep in thought with a stupid look on his face.

Alpha & Zordon: Well?!
Billy: I'm still thinking.

Alpha bends over with a scream of pain.

Billy: (Screams.) Ha! I got it!
Alpha & Zordon: Finally.
Billy: (Smiles.) We gotta get you to a toilet!
Alpha: (Groans and bends more.) Where?
Billy: Here of course!
Zordon: IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED. THE POWER CHAMBER HAS NO TOILETS.
Billy: It doesn't.? Well, that sucks. Sorry bud. No potty here.
Alpha: (Looks up at Billy.) Take me to a toilet.
Billy: As I just said, there isn't one.
Alpha: Then find another one!!!!
Billy (Stumbles backwards.) Whoa! Okay! Let's go to McDonalds. I always go potty there!
Alpha: (Stands up VERY slowly.) Let's go.

They teleport into the crowded McDonalds. People turn and stare.

Kid: How'd ya do that?
Billy: No time to talk. Gotta go potty.

Alpha nods his head. They rush off towards the men's room, only to find it full.

Billy: (Gigantic goofy smile growing on his face. Folds his hands and leans against the wall.) Don't worry. We can wait.
Alpha: I c-can't hold it much l-long-er.

About 2 days later....

Billy: We can still wait.
Alpha: Oh!! Let's get outa here.

He grabs Billy's hand and runs into the women's room. It is empty.

Billy: Go for it dude. Let it flow.
Alpha: Okay! (Runs into stall.)

A woman walks in.

Woman: AHHH! A man is in here!
Billy: Shhh- I've been waiting a long time to hear this.

The woman runs out.

Alpha: Uh, Billy?
Billy: Huh?
Alpha: Can you unzip me?
Billy: Sure good buddy. (Walks into the stall.)

Zzzzziiiipppp! Pssssssss....

Both: Ahhhh!

End

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