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The Old Ways
by Mandi B. Gordon

The pounding sea is calling me home to you.
The pounding sea is calling me home to you.

New Year's Eve 1996
Tommy stood on the rocks overlooking the ocean, his heart ached for the touch of a loved one. Kim had left him, Shana was dead, and all the other Rangers had someone. Also being leader of the Rangers weighed heavily on his already tender nerves. Tommy closed his eyes against the pain.

On a dark New Year's night
On the west coast of Clare
I heard your voice singing
Your eyes danced the song
Your hands played the tune
T'was a vision before me.

Again Tommy looked out over the water. A wistful smile crossed his face as he remembered how Shana loved the ocean. He choked back a sob as he remembered Shana's death. Finally the pain and loneliness were too much. Tommy closed his eyes as he started to step over the edge of the cliff. Just when he was about to fall a strong hand grabbed his wrist and held him back. Tommy turned to see Shana looking at him with large disappointed eyes. Tommy noted that she was his age and she wore a green tank top and biker shorts instead of her burnt purple clothes.

"What do you think you are doing?" Shana asked as she pulled him back from the cliff.

"I-I was coming to join you." Tommy whispered sheepishly.

"No you are not." Shana said as she crossed her arms. "You're way too smart to pull a stunt like that on everyone... Aren't you?"

"But I'm so tired of life," Tommy answered. "They would be better off without me."

Shana sighed as she looked over her shoulder and Tommy became aware of a million other voices surrounding him and Shana. They were singing and talking. Tommy looked at Shana with pleading eyes and she smiled with understanding.

"Let's get away from all the noise." Shana smiled. "I always wanted to walk along the shore with you."

"I know." Tommy smiled as he took her hand. "We never did get the chance."

We left the music behind and the dance carried on
As we stole away to the seashore
We smelt the brine, felt the wind in our hair,
And with sadness you paused.

Tommy and Shana walked along the shore for an hour. Neither one said much and Tommy started to feel much better about himself. But he still wanted to be with Shana for eternity. He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not know that Shana stopped till he walked into her. He looked into her eyes to apologize but stopped when he saw the pain that was in them. As he looked into her eyes he felt tears flow down his face. He wondered what could make Shana so sad. He wanted to stop her pain.

"If I was still alive would you have gone with Kim?" Shana asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, no.... I don't know." Tommy answered. "I love Kim but I would give her up in a minute if you said so."

"Tommy," Shana sighed. "If you ever did that to Kim I would kick your butt into next year. You can't live your life for me."

At those words Tommy looked at her in shock. Partly because he could not believe she said that and partly because it was true.

"I'm not living my life for you." Tommy denied.

"Then really you don't need me her." Shana smiled as she turned and walked away.

Suddenly I knew that you'd have to go
Your world was not mine, your eyes told me so
Yet it was there, I felt the crossroads of time
And I wondered why.

"Wait!" Tommy yelled as he ran after her. "You're leaving me? Just like Kim?" Suddenly he felt more alone than ever.

Shana smiled as she walked back over to him. Tommy felt himself stiffen as she hugged him. "Will you relax for once?" Shana asked as she rested her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers. Tommy relaxed when he saw what she was doing. He responded by putting his arm around her waste and slow danced with her.

"You know I'll never leave you." She whispered as they danced to ghostly music. "But you have to live for yourself and no one else."

"Why," Tommy wondered. "Why am I the one with all the problems?"

"Because you let them get you down. The guilt, the hurt, and the anger." Shana answered. "You've become dark and brooding, even your colors on the inside and out have changed."

"What do you mean?" Tommy asked.

"You were once the carefree green that I loved so much." Shana whispered as she swayed with him. "Then you became the white of responsibility, now you are red. Blood red to show your pain and power."

"You got me pegged." Tommy chuckled. "You could always do that. You were always purple, full of love and life. Now you wear green. Why did you change?"

"I changed as you changed Tommy." Shana smiled at him. "I didn't feel like wearing my burned clothes and green seemed fitting for this visit. Maybe next time I'll wear a different color."

"What color would that be?" Tommy asked as he looked at her.

"What color is the sea?" Shana answered.

Tommy looked at the water as Shana put her head back down on his shoulder. Tommy smiled as he watched the moonlight dance on the water.

As we cast our gaze on the tunbling sea
A vision came o'er me
Of thundering hooves and beating wings
In the clouds above.

"Blue-green." Tommy answered. "A color as deep as my love for life and my friends, alive and dead."

"What do you hear?" Shana asked.

Tommy closed his eyes and listened to the waves crash against the rocks. He smiled as the sound of the waves turned to the sound of the thunder of a wild horse's feet on the ground as it ran. He also heard his heart beat like a bird's wing as it flew. "Horses hooves and birds wings." Tommy smiled.

"What do you feel?" Shana's asked with a voice filled with sadness.

"The old ways." Tommy answered without thought.

"Oh Tommy." Shana sighed.

Turning to go I heard you call my name.
Like a bird in a cage, spreading its wings to fly
"The old ways are lost" you sang as you flew
And I wondered why

"Shana why did you have to die?" Tommy asked as tears ran down his face. "Why couldn't it be like the old ways?"

"The old ways are lost to us Tommy." Shana answered. "You have to go on without me in your day to day life."

"But I don't want to." Tommy sobbed. "I need you now more then ever. You're my best friend. I love you!"

"I know you love me Tommy." Shana answered as she looked at him. "I love you too."

Tommy looked into her eyes and he felt as if all his pain and sadness were taken away as she smiled. Tommy smiled as he closed his eyes and leaned forward to kiss her. He opened them when he felt his lips touch nothing but open air. Tommy looked around and saw Shana standing on the water with an unearthly glow.

"Shana..." Tommy called as he walked towards the water. "Please don't leave me."

"Och my dragon." Shana smiled as she called out to him with a Scottish accent that was her birthright. "Dae ye nae know that I will always be wi ye?"

"I do in my heart!" Tommy yelled over the waves. Shana smiled as a golden glow encased her and she turned into a golden swan. Tommy watched as the swan flew into the moonlight and disappeared in a bright flash of golden light leaving Tommy in total silence except for the waves.

The thundering waves are calling me home, home to you.
The pounding sea is calling me home, home to you.

"Then don't worry." A voice in his heart whispered. "You are home, and you will always be home."

Tommy looked over the water and smiled. He knew he did not need to die. Kim still cared for him in a small way, Kat liked him, and Shana would always be with him. He looked down at his feet and saw a golden feather by them. He reached down and picked it up. It was unusually soft Tommy smiled as he passed his fingers over it.

"The old ways aren't lost Shana." Tommy whispered with a smile. "I still remember them and I always will."

End...?

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