Missing Your Love
By: Shelly Corvin

You lay me down
Whisper in my ear

Tommy couldnít believe that he was walking through the park with Kim again. It had been three months since she had left, but to Tommy it had been an eternity. Having Kim with him right now, he considered it a blessing, and he was trying to savor every moment.

As he looked at Kim, he couldnít believe that he was seeing an even more beautiful woman than he had before. Her skin was bronzed from the Florida sun and her cheeks and lips were a beautiful pink. He noticed that Kimís wardrobe had taken quite a change. She wasnít wearing one of her normal sundresses or a pair of shorts with a T-shirt. Instead, she was wearing a black, v-neck tanktop made of silk that was cut very low , a creme-colored, tight, knee-length skirt that had a sheer black overlay which had a flower print, and a platform pair of Mary Janes. Sheís given up pink. Tommy also noticed as he tried to follow Kimís gaze that her mind was everywhere . . .but there with him.

"Kim?"

" . . ."

"Kimberly?!"

"Oh sorry, I guess I wasnít paying attention," Kim glanced up at him hesitantly, but then she averted her eyes back to the lake. It was almost as if she couldnít face him.

Thatís obvious Tommy thought to himself. He gazed over at the sun which was setting over the Angel Grove mountains and then back at the lake. The sun made the little ripples in the water appear golden, and the lake appeared to be shimmering and sparkling like a diamond. All of the leaves were starting to turn gorgeous shades of orange and red as fall set in, but the temperature was still in the 80s. It was after all California. This was one of Kim and Tommyís favorite times of the year, and the couple had often spent many evenings just walking around the lake during this season. It had always had a magical effect on the two . . .or at least it used to Tommy thought as he gazed at Kim.

Well, it may be my name you call
But itís his name I hear

"Tommy," she said softly as she tried to meet his eyes. The overwhelming affection Tommy always felt radiate from Kim as she spoke his name . . .was gone.

"Yeah, Kim," Tommy said softly staring into her eyes as he gave her a small smile. Sheís trying to tell me something . . .something sheís dying to say, but too afraid to.

As soon as Kim looked up into those big pools of brown, she turned her head away once again. "Nothing."

You promise me
Through thick and thin

As they started to circle the pool again, Tommy thought back to the night before Kim had left. What had happened . . .he knew something was wrong . . .

*It had been a crystal clear night, and the couple had decided to cherish their last moments together in the place they had fallen in love in, the park. Tommy had brought a picnic dinner for the two and having finished it they were laying in each otherís arms gazing at the stars. Any time either one of them began to speak, Kim began to cry, so it was a very emotional and painful night for the two. . . at least at the beginning of it.

"At least when I look up at the stars at night, I can imagine you looking at the same ones," Kim said as the tears welled up in her eyes again.

"Kimmie, Iíll always be with you, even if we are going to be quite a long ways away from each other. Weíre apart of each other and being away from each other will only strengthen our relationship. You going to live out your dream is exactly what I want. You know you need to do this, Kim," Tommy said rubbing her arms.

Kim rolled over, sat up, and then said shakily, "Do I? Iím not so sure if I want to go. Iím going to be away from everything and everyone that I hold dear to my heart. A stupid medal . . ." Tommy started to laugh, and as Kim glanced over at him as she spoke she stopped and said, "What?"

"You rolled over onto a brownie," Tommy said with a gleam in his eye.

"Great! Just what I need to top of this night," Kim said as the tears trickled down her face and she tried to wipe the brownie off of her rear.

Tommy stopped her from doing that and pulled her into his lap. Kim buried her head into his shoulder and wept freely as Tommy rubbed her back. "Kim, that stupid medal has been a dream of yours ever since you were a little girl. Youíve been given the chance to actually live it out, and I will not let you stop yourself from doing this just because youíll be away from your friends a little bit. If you donít do this, I know youíll regret it for the rest of your life. Youíll always wonder what could have been. I know you would, Kim. You have to do this."

Kim sniffled a bit and then looked into Tommyís eyes. She gently caressed the side of his face and said, "But us . . .I donít want to lose you."

Tommy caught her hand and kissed it softly. "Weíre solid, and you know that. There is nothing absolutely nothing for you to worry about with us. Youíve had my heart ever since we locked eyes; youíre a part of me and there is no way that Iíd ever let you out of my life. I couldnít live without you."

"Oh Tommy, thank you so much for saying that," Kim said smiling blissfully as she leaned in and gave him a passionate kiss. "I love you so much, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know," Tommy said shyly. "And I love you, thatís why," Tommy suddenly took a deep breath to calm his nerves, "I want to give you something."

"What," Kim said in confusment.

"I know we are way too young to get married, but I know how much I love you and how hopelessly devoted I am to you. Youíre the only person I can ever imagine spending the rest of my life with, and the only one that I want to with. So . . .I wanted to know if youíll be my best friend for life? Will you wear this for me," Tommy said taking out a small white box and opening it. Inside was a heart-shaped diamond ring surrounded by tiny pink diamonds on a golden band.

"Oh Tommy," Kim said gasping, "you shouldnít have."

"Oh be quiet. This is nothing. Well, it doesnít mean nothing but . . ." Kim burst out laughing as Tommy stumbled over his words.

"Itís beautiful," Kim said taking the box from him.

"I know I shouldnít be doing this now, but Iíll do it again . . .later on when weíre older," Tommy said taking the ring out of the box and bending down on one knee. "Kim, youíre the one that has my heart and has made me the person that I am today. I love you more than anything in this universe, and I want to know if youíll marry me?"

Kim covered her mouth with her hands as tears started to fall from her eyes. However, Tommy then saw a gleam in Kimís eyes as she spun around and took one step away from him.

"Well . . .Kimberly," Tommy said anxiously as he experienced an overwhelming sense of deja vu.

Kim then spun around and with and enormous grin and said, "I couldnít make it too easy for you, of course Iíll be your wife."

The memory hit Tommy like a freight train and a tear came to his eye as he remembered that day in the park. He quickly slipped the ring onto Kimís left ring finger and then swept her into a heated kiss.

"Youíve just made me the happiest man in the world," he whispered into her ear.

"And me the happiest woman," Kim whispered back. Kim then let out a yelp of joy as Tommy lifted her up and spun her around as he had that fateful day.

The next day at the airport there had been no tears because they both knew that their destiny had been sealed, or at least Tommy had thought so.*

Well, you told me you loved me
You told me a lie
Cause you love him

And Iíll be missing your love
Every day
Iím missing your love
Every way
Though youíre here with me
Baby, Iíll be missing your love

Tommyís mind was running rampant. He didnít know what to think. Kimberly . . .he was feeling nothing from her. She wouldnít look at him, her hand was hanging loosely in his, and she was standing as far away from him as possible. Tommy knew what the cause was . . .but he wouldnít admit it. Kim canít actually be in love with someone else, can she? After everything that had happened to them? She is supposed to be my wife for Godís sake!

Kim glanced toward him and opened her mouth, but once again looked away.

And when we talk
You look into my eyes
Well, youíre talking to me
But baby I can see
Whatís on your mind

Kim finally looked into Tommyís eyes, and then he saw it. The it was nothing. The shimmer and love he always loved to drown in when he looked into her eyes was gone.

"So . . .howís your karate going," she said hazily.

"Fine, what about your training?"

All of a sudden it was like Kimberly was plugged into an electrical unit, because a gleam sprang into her eyes and she began to talk animatedly. "Absolutely wonderful! Coach Schimt said Iím one of the best gymnasts heís laid eyes on and that I have so much potential. And all of the people their have been so nice and welcoming. Iíve made a couple of really good friends . . ." A guilty expression came over Kimís face, and she once again averted her gaze.

Sheís found someone else Tommy thought as the understanding washed over his body and numbed it.

And Iíll be missing your love
Every day
Iím missing your love
Every way
Though youíre here with me
Baby, Iíll be missing your love

Oh, I reach out for you
And you turn away

Tommy felt like he was going over a great cliff, like he needed to cling onto something. He couldnít ler go. He tried to wrap his arm around her, but Kim stepped off to the side. She glanced up at him and another censurable expression washed over her face, so she quickly took back his hand.

Well it takes
All I can do to make it through the day
And Iíll be missing your love, oh ba-by, bay-by

The thoughts Tommy was having were tearing him apart. How can she be doing this to me? Iíve already lost so much and been through so many painful times. Sheís the only person that has kept me stable and balanced me out. Sheís the only reason Iíve been fighting . . .the only reason Iíve been living. Sheís the only reason I want to live. Tommy gulped in a deep breath of air and tried to stop himself from shaking. Then he turned toward Kim, and he saw it.

Pain.

Kim eyes were welling up and her face was almost contorted into a grimace. She looked up into his eyes for a second, a desperate plea, and then turned away again. Then she looked over once again with a fake, plastered smile before turning away.

She doesnít want to hurt me? She knows . . .she knows that I wonít be able to handle it. She wants to tell me so bad, but she doesnít want to tear me apart either. When Tommy had seen the pain in Kimís eyes, he knew he should have said something. Even though it was killing him inside, it hurt him even more to see her hurt. He knew he had to say something . . . to let her go, but he couldnít. He just couldnít let her go. He didnít want to force her to stay with him through guilt, but he couldnít let her go.

And Iíll be missing your love
Every day
Iím missing your love
Every way

Tommy suddenly stopped in his tracks. He had to see if there was anything left. He took Kim in his arms and kissed her, but just as he had feared . . . there was nothing. No spark, no flame; he had put everything he had into that kiss, and had received nothing in return. Tommy Oliver knew at that moment . . .he had lost her for good. The fact caused his brain to freeze up. He couldnít move, he couldnít speak, and he couldnít look . ..at her. Although Tommy had never believed it could happen, mainly because he would never have to feel it, he could literally feel his heart breaking.

Though you're here with me
Baby, Iím missing your love

Kim then reached up and embraced him and just stood there hugging her for a couple of minutes. Tommy came back to reality and wrapped her arms around as if heíd never let go because he didnít want to. Because he knew what was going to happen when he let go. He felt something small being pressed into his hand as she unwrapped his arms. She then gave him a quick peck on the cheek. As she leaned back from it, Tommy could see the tears streaming down her face. He began to feel very nauseous. It was too much . . . She stared at him for a couple of seconds, and then said, "Iíd better go. I have to pack. Iíll see you . .. later." Kim than ran away from him, and she never looked back.

Tommy turned his gaze down to his closed hand and stared at it. he didnít need to open it to know what it was. It signified the end of her love for him, the end of their relationship. He opened it slowly, and just stood there for a moment looking at it. The ring. As the sun was just about to disappear beneath the mountains, Tommy saw that there was no sparkle to the ring anymore. It was dull and contained nothing. The love it had once symbolized was gone.

Tommy sank to the ground as he looked at the ring. Then he chucked it into the lake which was now shimmering silver. He felt it belonged there because his heart was already at the bottom of that lake. No matter who you love or are with . . .Iíll always love you, Kim Tommy thought as he finally let the tears fall freely. He laid down looking up the moon . . . and the stars. Youíll always have my heart.

Yes, I am ba-by
Donít you know it, donít you know it, donít you know it ba-by
Mmm mmm, yeah

The song used in this story is Jonny Lang's "Missing Your Love", and I'm using it without permission.

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