The Unseen Scene
by Catherine Cobern

Aisha approaches the table where all the other Rangers are sitting. She has a big smile on her face... as always. As she approaches, Rocky looks up from his fries, and his eyes widen nearly shooting out of his head. He scrambles to get away, but Adam, without looking up from his magazine, takes Rocky's hand and forces him back into his seat, where Rocky sits and whines quietly.

AISHA: (Smiling like there was no tomorrow) How are, like, all you Rangers, err, hehe, I mean "teenagers" doing today?
KIMBERLY: Oh, hi, Aisha. Wanna go shopping later?
AISHA: Are you kidding? That would be, like, totally boss! I am soooooo happy to have such wonderful friends!!

She gets all teary, and throws her arms around Rocky, who is sitting next to her. He sits stunned for a moment, then begins to cry, and whine. Aisha looks concerned.

AISHA: What's wrong, Rocky?
ROCKY: No speak. Leave Rocky lone... pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Rocky is quivering from fright, and is trying to get Aisha's arms off of him... without touching her.

AISHA: (Slowly taking her arms off him) O..kkk..aay....

Rocky quickly rushes away from the table, and runs into the corner, where he sits, rocking himself while sucking his thumb.

AISHA: I, like, dunno why he does that, but I'm sure a little Power Rang--err. Ooopps! Sorry. My bad! I mean, a little "teenager" support can help him. What do you guys think? Like, what if we form a, "Make Strange People Feel Accepted" Group!! That is such a boss idea! Wow! I thought of that??
KIM: Gee... Aisha. That's a... uhh... *ahheemm*... great idea. Now about that shopping...?
TOMMY: Is that all you think about, Kim? Shopping?? What about karate? Ziaaaaaa!!!
KIM: (Rolling her eyes) Get out of my life... or better yet, get out of my facial! Like, god! Totally gross me out!
ADAM: This is a really profound article. I'd really like to talk to the author....
KIM: That's not all he wants to do to the author! *giggle, giggle*
AISHA: Now, like, Kimberly! That was not, like, a cheerful thing to say to Adam. We all know Adam is not like that. He may not have had a date in the entire series of Power Rangers, but that is not the point. He is an outstanding, young, perfect human being. That has nothing to do with whether he has a date or not. He is just... womanly challenged. He'll find a girl- someday. Hopefully not as mean as that Scorpina chick....
KIM: (Holding up her thumb and index finger on both hands to form a "W" and rolls her eyes) Whatever! Let's go shopping!
AISHA: OK, Kim. I have to find time to do activities with all my friends, whether it's a "Getting Sweaty and Batchy" with Tommy, or it's time for Rocky and me to not touch each other! I am an outgoing citizen, with love and time for everyone. I can get along so easily. Aren't I special?
ADAM: Read this, Tommy. Isn't the way this man puts it so... so... touching?
KIM: I doubt that he can read! ( Hold up her index finger and thumb to form an "L") Loser!
AISHA: Where is that negative energy coming from, Kim?
BILLY: (Appearing out of nowhere) I think it's one of Rita's evil plans!
KIM: Heeelllloooo??? Read the script, buddy! You don't enter until Bulk and Skull have their pointless comical reliefs skit.
BILLY: ( In an English accent) Is this my best side? Why am I on this show? I am such a better actor than the rest of these weirdos on this children's show....
BULK: Excuse me, excuse me! What's my motivation??
HAIM: (From the background) Just do the skit, boys.
SKULL: Don't talk to me like a child! I used to play in Romeo and Juliet!!!

Haim holds up big card that says "Bulk and Skull go to peace conference."
Rolling their eyes, they do a stupid little skit where they fall down, hurt, and humiliate themselves, as usual. Ha, Ha... I'm really laughing... really...uhh... OK! So I'm not... leave me alone!

KIM: This is pointless. Where is my career going??
TOMMY: (Grinning) Bay Watch.
KIM: Shut-up, Pony Tail Boy! I'm leaving after this stupid episode! You're going to have to find someone else to play this stupid Pink Ranger, and date Tommy! Of course Tommy will be devastated when I leave... firstly because he likes my butt. As if, Tommy! Secondly, he knows there will never be another Pink Ranger as good as me. I will always be the best Ranger that they ever had cause I could always kick butt!
KAT: HI! I'm the new Pink Ranger! I'm Kat. (Unenthusiastically) Meeeeowwww, Purr...
TOMMY: Can I touch you... please?
KIM: Get out of here, breast face. We all know those are implants, and you are so proud your daddy spent so much money on them that you can't help but flaunt them in the face of everyone. My old dog, Rover, almost had a heart attack when you bent over to pet him the other day. He didn't, but he did wet all over the carpet! And what am I saying this for anyway? Gosh, this is stupid! You can't even come in for a few more episodes because Saban has to figure out a way for me to leave gracefully- I will NOT have my career ruined by you losers!
BILLY: So let me get this right. I come in and say, "Maybe it's another one of Rita's plans?" Wouldn't it be better if I... AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!

Billy receives shock from many of the on-set cattle prods and a light goes on in the "Creativity Alert" sign.

HAIM: Watch it, smart-boy.
KIM: (Slaps Billy) Yeah! Get a life! Get out of my face! Get some contacts.
BILLY: HAIMMMMM!!!! She is sexually harassing me! Fire her quick! God I hate you, Kimberly!!!!
AISHA: Well! This is such a pretty day. Wanna go pick flowers??? Anyone??

Everyone in the Juice bar turns to her and yells, "NO!!!"... except Rocky who makes a big squeal like he just saw a horrible ghost, and pushes himself farther into the corner.

ALPHA: (Walking in without his helmet on) Hi Rangers... Oh, sh--

The stage crew rushes in and helps the girl put on her mask, and muffle the obscenities that she is crying.

ADAM: This article is so interesting! I love it!! Please! Someone read this!!
KIM: Shut-up!!! Alpha! What are you doing in here?? God! Someone get me off this show before I kill everyone!!

Alpha walks off... interesting... he walks instead of wobbling... hmm. About halfway to the door he remembers and starts to wobble.

KIM: Now back to you Kat. Get the hell out of here, and come back in a couple of episodes. Billy- Get out of my face!!
BILLY: I'm gonna bust you up, Kim! Watch me! I'll kick you across the room! Whore!!

All watch as Sailor Moon and Luna run across the Juice Bar with a big logo saying "Watch Sailor Moon!"

KIM: Advertising much???
BILLY: Get out of here! Move, shop-acholic! You're polluting the clean air of the planet!!

Kimberly receives a letter from Ernie, which she tears open eagerly.

KIM: Hey guys! I'm goin' to the Pan Global Games!!! Kat!! Get in here!
KAT: (Poking her head in front of the camera to be seen) Yeeessssssss???
KIM: You're the Pink Ranger now. I hope you enjoy Tommy... I sure didn't.
TOMMY: Hey...
KAT: (Smiles and clears her throat) Meeeoooowwww!!!

Rocky begins to sob as Aisha runs about throwing flowers and chanting about how if everyone in the world had a flower instead of a gun, then there would be no wars... just one, big, smell in; Adam tries desperately to get everyone to read his article, Tommy "Ziaa's"; Kat sticks her chest under everyone's noses; and Billy walks off the set in a huff, followed by Bulk and Skull.
Then all turn to the camera... especially Kat's boobs.

ALL: Don't Do Drugs!!


HAIM: I don't know how I make so much money... this is ridiculous. Why couldn't I have been something safe like... a daredevil.... I mean, honestly....