Mighty Saban Slicing Ranger:
True Sentai is the only way...
by Hikagi

On the moon Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa were brooding in their new castle. Rita is silently looking through her book of spells, while an insanely bored Zedd watches her.

Zedd: You know I was just wondering, why the f**k did I marry you?
Zedd: Hell no! I really can't stand you unless you are helping me do evil.
Rita: OH ZEDDIKINS, DON'T SAY THAT. I AM A VERY VALUABLE ASSET IN YOUR LIFE! (Plugs her ears to what he says next)
Zedd: Yeah? Well I'm giving your ASSets one week to come up with a good monster or you can get out of here!

Goldar, Rito, Baboo, Squatt, and Scorpina walk in. A dutifull Finster is seen working in the background tied to a ball and chain. Goldar and Scorpina walk towards the new throne stepping together in the same rhythm.

Goldar: Lord Zedd, Rita, look who has come back from outer space! (Points to Lamy...er Scorpina)
Scorpina: My lovely Rita and Lord Zedd it is good to see you again. (Lies and tries to itch off the armor she has on)

In the background Rito walks over to Finster and farts near him. Then after dispensing his surprise for the beshakeled Finster walks away to find some of his two week old tacos.

Rito: Just what are you doing? (Says this to Squatt while itching his head and smelling his underarms)
Squatt: Eating your tacos!
Baboo: Shhh! (Smacks Squat on the back of the neck)
Rito: That tears it! (Picks up his bone sword and begins to fight)
Squatt: Waaaaaaah! (Throws his arms up and tacos fly all over)
Baboo: Baka na! (Beats on Squatt while Rito beats on them both)

Meanwhile back on Earth all the Power Rangers are in the Juice Bar. (But of course) Jason is sitting with Emily and his eyes are in a haze. There are mirrors on his shoes and he keeps looking into them. Emily not noticing that the mirrors are there or that they are aimed at her skirt opening keeps talking. Drool starts to come from his mouth and she she stops.

Emily: So Jason are we still on for the movie tonight?
Jason: Yeah sure whatever! (Even more drool comes out)

Adam is sitting with Tanya at a table near a TV. They are watching a Sailor Moon cartoon and he vaguely thinks of how silly the show is. (Somewhere off camera Usagi is sitting in her room thinking the same thing about Power Rangers) Adam is only watching the show because Tanya turned the TV to that station.

Tanya: So uh, what did you want to tell me Adam?
Adam: Um, uh.... I, uh.. yeah I love.... uh (Blushes and sweats) So you wanna... I know I sound stupid.... Aw heck! Tanya I love you and think you are great as the Yellow Zeo Ranger! (Screams)

Everyone stops what they were doing and looks at Adam and then goes back to what they were doing as if nothing ever happened. Adam is totally red now and starts to cry because everyone pegs him as the sensative one anyway.
Tanya sits there looking at him as he cries and whine for twenty minutes. She wonders how the heck she ever became a Ranger anyway.

Rocky is sitting at a table by himself eating a years supply of food and chugging some Jolt cola and a few coffees. Every now and then a girl comes near him asking him for a date, Rocky makes a face, rolls his eyes and says something mean. He is thinking of how Saban made him seem so stupid all the time and always tried to get him a semi steady girl....

Rocky: You won't catch me being all mushy and writing poetry and stuff like that with a girl!

Meanwhile at the Power Chamber Billy is chasing Alpha 5 around with a monkey wrench. The three Treys are all talking but the words don't seem to match their voices. Turning on the VR Troopers they all comment on how kewl the actor Brad Hawkins is and soup him up.
After Alpha 5 was dissasembled Billy began to make an object that would do two things for him. One it would blow up that damned Power Chamber and that evil uncaring semi visible Zordon with it. Second it would steal the Gold Powers from the Treys and allow Billy to jump back to action. His fishy girlfriend had even helped him with the last idea.

Then the Alien Ranger are seen in the background fighting a giant woman who is in her eighties. She swats at them with her purse and none of them think to dodge her attacks. Then on a freak accident someone lights a match near her rump and she grabs it then runs off trying to pat the fire out. The Kaku... er Alien Rangers chase after the silly monster GrannyGrump dutifully.

Kat: Tommy help, Tommy Help me! Tommy help meeeeeee! (She says as she sees a small bug on the floor near her)
Tommy: Yes Kat... Yes Kat... whatever you say Kat. (Is wearing a butler suit while he says this)

Tommy morphs and proceeds to kill the monster all on his own even though Ernie was ready to help with the bug spray. Due to Tommy's ignorance he manages to destroy the Juice Bar and they all go to Ernie's beach resort type place as if nothing happened.

Far away in Florida Kim was doing a movie called, "The Shogun's Daughter." No one thought or belived it was truely her so she went ahead and filmed the movie letting them show her face. Then to complete her day she went onto the Net and uploaded some nude pics of herself to many random Newsgroups.

Lastly at the infamous Peace conferance Zack got put into a space ship and was shot off into space. Finally having a Sentai team of his own he didn't need to dance while he was fighting to draw everyone's attetion to him. Trini decided that she had enough with being a standard good girl and moved to the city of angels. There she fought a man using her grasshopper style against his Crow style.

And hidden from them all was the youth Justin. He waited and waited while Rocky ate and played and pushed away girls all day. Justin was another of Saban's pawns, or was he? He knew Rocky was on his way OUT. It was just a matter of time before he would get onto the show and make it a copy of B-Fighter, I mean Big Bad Beetle Borgs...

Finally the viewer grew tired of this and turned the TV off with a new idea to write a silly parody. It started out with a shot of the castle on the moon. Lord Zedd was looking at Rita who was silently reading her book.