Heart's Decision
by: Starfire

He sat there, staring out into space, while he worked on dinner. He was the defender of a colony in space and of the people. No one knew that he, Kai Chen, the third in command of Terra Venture, the most trusted officer to Commander Stanton, was the Blue Galaxy Ranger.

Shaking his head out of his musing, he slowly chopped some lettuce with a skilled hand from years of practice. Closing his eyes, he pictured himself fighting, and defending a person, he loved dearly.

***Day Dream**

He stood there, with his Quasar Saber in front of him, and got ready to fight the evil monster that looked like a cocktail. A figure, in a silver dress, stood in the grip of the evil monsterís clutches, crying out for him to save her. Although his helmet allowed him to see clearly as day of the surroundings around him, he couldn't make out the face of the girl. There was always a shadow in front of her face. Blocking his view of her face, the only thing that he could make out was her figure and long black hair.

"Don't just stand there!!!" the girl in silver seemed to shout at him.

"Don't worry, fair lady, I shall save you," he pronounced gallantly.

As he jumped up, he shot the cocktail monster. The monster screamed in agony and dispersed in a wave of light. Kai then approached the girl who was on the ground to help her up...

*BLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP* The sound of the kitchen alarm jolted him out of his day dream to his dinner being burnt.

"AWWW man!!!" he exclaimed as he quickly put out the fire. "I guess I can't blame Leo for this one," he muttered as he put out the food with water from a frying pan.

The com-system beeped at Kai, startling him into dropping a frying pan on his foot. He jumped around holding his foot. *Ouch ... Ouch ... Ouch*

This is just not my day, he thought to himself as he opened the com-system.

The image of Hanna appeared and she smiled at the battered looking Kai. "Hey, Kai."

Kai smiled through his pain. "Hey, Hanna." Kai had been infatuated with her when he first saw her at the skating ring, while watching over Jodie, Commander Stantonís daughter. He was never a great skater and ended up falling down; that was how he met Hanna. It was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him. Of course, the infatuation ended when he realized he preferred to be friends with Hanna, instead of a more intimate relationship.

Hanna looked apologetic as she spoke up. "I am sorry Kai, but Erik and I have to work today, so we both can't come to dinner."

Kai nodded his head in understanding, "I understand. Duty calls, after all."

Erik was in the engineering department with Damon, and he had met Hanna through Kai. The interesting thing was, Erik and Hanna hit it off at a fast pace. They both were working together and now practically moving in with each other. Kai, of course, was happy for them. After all, they were both his friends, but he sometimes couldn't suppress a little envy.

Hanna smiled and her eyes twinkled. "I'll see you sometime later with Erik. Bye Kai."

Kai nodded his head. "Don't over stress yourself."

Hanna giggled. "I won't, Lieutenant Chen."

The com then shut off in a blink and silence filled the room. Kai felt the presence of loneliness eat into his soul. He felt the four walls close in on him until he couldn't take it anymore. He quickly grabbed his skates and decided to go to the skating ring to practice, since Jodie wanted to go skating tomorrow and he didn't want to fall on the ground trying to keep up with her. Besides that, he was more likely to get drafted into skating and taking care of the Commanderís daughter than anyone else.

Thank God the skating ring has no one inside today because of the work schedules.

As he drove one of the little golf carts to the skating ring, he got out and made sure he had the keys in his pocket. He slung his skates over his shoulder and walked into the complex. He frowned when he heard music inside, and as he drew closer, he could make out that the music seemed rather haunting and familiar in a bizarre way.

Spare a little candle, save some light for me.
Figures up ahead moving in the trees.
White skin in linen,
Perfume on my wrist,
And the full moon that hangs over.
These dreams in the mist.

As he approached, he saw a figure flowing over the ice like a shadow.

That is weird. No one is usually here at this time of day, he thought to himself.

He cautiously walked into the area and saw a girl in a silver silk costume that was snugly fit over her hips. Some silk lining trailed down her hips and billowed behind her as she skated in a spiral. Her long black hair trailed down her back to her waist and flowed with the lining in the speed and agility of her spins. The music trailed to her movements and the lyrics were so fitting in an eerie way.

Darkness on the edge shadows where I stand.
I search for the time on a watch with no hands.
I want to see you clearly.
Come closer then this.
But all I remember.
Are the dreams in the mist.

Kai watched, mesmerized, as she did a triple axis jump and landed on her feet. Her face was not in clear view of his eye's sight. A nagging feeling was pecking into Kai's soul as he watched her stretch out into a glide. Kai looked on and the words of the song were haunting to him. The way he felt as he stood in the shadows watching her. The way the time seemed to halt and the wanting to see who this creature was. His daydreams were so close to the song, to the part where he tried to see who the figure was, but all he saw was the girl-like-dream in the mist.

These dreams go on when I close my eyes.
Every second of the night
I live another life.
These dreams that sleep
When it's cold outside.
Every moment I'm awake.
The further I'm away.

Who is she? Kai thought to himself as he walked a little closer and gazed through the glass.

The figure then did a twist and a back run, her hair blowing into her face, frustrating Kai in unimaginable ways; he wanted to see what she looked like. The temperature of the ice let out a mist of cold air that surrounded the figure as she skated into a double axel.

Here's a cloak and dagger.
Could it be spring or fall?
I'll walk without a cut
Though a Stained glass wall.
Weaker in my eyesight,
Candle in my grip,
And words that have no form
Fallen from my lips.
These dreams go on.

Kai walked closer and sat down, his skates forgotten in his hand, as he watched the figure draw into a spin off and dip into a stance that brought her closer to the other side's edge. Her white skates, with silver lining, glinted in the air and flashed in the dim lights as she did a squat spin. Kai's eyesight blurred as he watched the figure of the girl spin fast. The song reflected the uncertainty and embarrassment for watching the girl without informing her, but he couldn't make himself say one word to stop the music, or the figure from dancing.

When I close my eyes
Every second of the night
I live another life.
These dreams that sleep
When it's cold outside.
Every moment I'm awake
The further I'm away.
There something out there I can't resist.

He just couldn't take his eyes off her. There was some sort of bond that he felt with her. Sure, he had felt infatuation before and could identify what it was, but the feelings he was experiencing were different. In a way, it was more like bells were ringing in his mind and he felt whole. An odd experience, even for Kai, who was raised in a military family that didn't express their emotions. Everything had its place, every book had it's order, so how could this feeling for this girl be any different?

What is wrong with me? he thought to himself. I don't even know who she is.

His family had not been pleased when Kai daydreamed in his classes and the illusions of a different life were viewed in his fantasies. He did the only thing he could do he hid them away. The only times he truly did daydream were when he was cooking. The endless task of cooking made sure people were not near him and he could daydream.

If Leo knew about my daydreams, I would suffer endless tortures, Kai thought grimly, but his attention shifted back to the girl.

I need to hide away
From the pain.
There is something out there
I can't resist.

He bit back the bitter memory of his father slapping him when he was small for crying because he scraped his knee. Kai looked longingly at the girl as she danced on. His mother was understanding, but didn't dare try to comfort Kai because his father told her not too. A strict family, he lived with rules and regulations; no sign of love of bonding was there. It was viewed as a weakness in a family member if you did. You were to do your job and not feel anything. Kai did what his father told him to do when he was small; he hid away his emotions and pain. He got the job done and never had fun. He even hurt a little girl in his elementary school when he was eight. Kai squeezed his eyes at the memory the face of the seven-year-old girl that appeared in his mind. Her shiny black ebony eyes and long black hair twinkled in his memory. A small grin appeared on his face.

*flashback*

Kai at eight growled at the girl. "I can take care of myself Liz. So bug off." He had been trying to do a flip on the monkey bars and had ended up falling down and spraining his arm.

Liz glared at Kai as she dragged him up. "Come on, stop being a stubborn mule, Kai."

Kai yanked his arm away and winced, but his countenance returned to the ice mask he perfected all his life. "Get away from me, you ugly pig!"

Liz's eyes widen at the insult and she ran away from Kai, crying. Kai looked up with regret and was going to call out, but the strict voice of his father bade him not to do so. He then stopped and headed to the nurseís office to get his arm fixed. After that day, he moved away because his father had a new post for the military. He never saw Liz ever again. The regret and pain he buried in his soul for the pain he caused her.

*flashback ends*

The sweetest song is silence,
That I ever heard.
Funny how your feet in dreams
Never touch the Earth.
In a wood full of Princes
Freedom is a kiss.
But the Princes has his Faith
From dreams in the mist.

He sat there, mulling over his memories, as his eyes lingered over the figure. She seemed to float on a mist of water. She then stopped, breathing hard, and slowly skated toward Kai. His heart pounded faster, when he saw her coming closer. The face became more clear and he saw a golden skinned, elf featured face, with some bangs and tendril of hair curling down her cheek. He held his breath when he saw the girl slowly lift her eyes toward him. A set of black ebony eyes rested on his face, startled. Kai gasped as recognition sent waves of shock to his system.

These dreams go on
When I close my eyes.
Every second of the night,
I live another life.

His mouth gapped at her. "Li... Li... Liz..." he stuttered out in a gasp of breath. She looked coolly at him, her eyes taking in his appearance coldly. Not one drop of emotion appeared in those ebony eyes.

"Hello, Lieutant Chen." Kai blinked at her cold greeting, and his eyes widened in shock and regret.

Oh god, what have I done? he thought, in grief and sadness at what he had done.

"How may I help you, Lieutenant?"

Kai gulped. "Liz, we have to talk."

She sat down and pulled off her skates, putting on her tennis shoes. She looked up at Kai, her eyes unwavering. They seemed to cut through him. "Really, now?"

Kai looked at her in pain, and she hesitated in her reply. Kai bit his lip and steadied his nerves. "I am sorry that I hurt you."

He saw her blink in surprise and detected a little trembling in her stance. The emotions that he remembered in her eyes when he was young crept back in waves. She blinked her eyes uncontrollably and he saw her composing herself with restrained force. Kai looked at Liz in concern. She nodded her head in Kai's direction. "It was good to see you again, Kai," she said hoarsely.

He watched her walk away, but out of nowhere he yelled out, "Can I make you dinner?" He saw her freeze, her back stiffen in shock. She turned around and looked at him in suspiciously.

"Why would you want to eat with a girl who is ugly like a pig?"

Kai winced at the words he had said when he was eight. He looked at Liz and, in a heartbeat, said, "You are beautiful and smart and I want to start over with you."

She then nodded her head. "Very well, then. What time?"

Kai blushed and didn't notice Liz blinking in surprise at the flush in his face. Please, oh please, don't let me blow this, he prayed in his mind. "How about now?"

She blinked again in surprise, opened her mouth to comment, and then closed it. Kai smiled at the way he shocked her, and in embarrassment at the clumsy way he made the invitation. He heard her sigh.

"I am still in my skating costume. It will seem odd to sit down for dinner in it."

Kai blushed deep red and looked up at her. "If it makes you more comfortable, you can meet me in my quarters in one hour."

She nodded her head. "Yes it would."

Kai felt like slamming his head against the wall for the way he conducted his invitation. God, Leo would have been much smoother then me in a situation like this, he thought to himself as he jotted down his room number and address.

She took the paper and nodded her head. "See you there, then." She then walked away through the door. Kai's eyes lingered on her retreating shadow.

These dreams that sleep
When it's cold outside.
Every moment I'm awake
The further I'm away
These dreams go on.

He then rushed back to his quarters and quickly changed. He then started to cook quickly. While he cooked, he daydreamed. The girl in silver, with dark long hair, was no longer a mystery. The face was there in his clear view as he imagined himself saving her from disaster. The girl was Liz, the one who he always unconsciously knew. He vowed to himself that he will make things right. For his sake, and for hers, he would never hurt her again - or leave her, for that matter. His heart truly had passed through the mist of dreams, and now he knew who he was meant for. No more cold nights outside, looking into other's love. He truly felt whole, for his heart had came home and the dreams would go on. The doorbell rang and he walked to answer his fate and his destiny of love.

When I close my eye. Every second of the night. I live another life. These dreams that sleep. When it's cold outside.


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