"I don't know, Tanya. No, it sounds fun but...I'm just not in the mood to go out." Adam said over the phone as he sat down on his bed. "Yeah, I'm sure. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Me too."
Adam hung up the cordless phone and stared at it, willing it to have the answer to his problem.
*Why do I do this to myself? I know I love Tanya, why do I need to push her away? One of these days she's going to give up on me and find someone else.*
He groaned and rolled over onto his back. Why did he always do this? It took him months or at least weeks to get up the nerve to ask Tanya out, and then she had ended up asking him out.
Maybe that was part of the problem. Tanya was so outgoing, he felt overwhelmed. Not that it was always bad. Tanya got him to do more than most girls, and she got him to open up.
Adam sighed. It still boggled his mind that she would want him. The only other girl he had seriously thought about dating had been Sara Diaz, and they had dated for a couple of months before Sara broke up with him. They were still friends, but she was his one and only foray into the dating scene.
Until now, until Tanya. Tanya was so different form the other girls he knew. She was outgoing, kind, sweet, never afraid of a challenge and not afraid to tell him what was going on.
That was another problem. Not a problem exactly, but it made him a bit uncomfortable. He was raised to keep everything inside and not bother others with his problems, or tell someone how much you cared for them.
He knew Tanya was being patient with him. He just couldn't tell her how he felt about her. He was scared, plain and simple. He was scared that Tanya didn't feel the same or worse would laugh and tell him she didn't want to go out with him anymore.
He was afraid of getting too close, afraid of getting hurt. Adam levered himself off the bed and sat down at his desk. For a moment he simply stared at the paper before he picked up a pen and started to write.
Adam waited anxiously for Tanya after school the next day. The letter he had written was burning a hole in his pocket.
He saw Tanya coming down the school steps. Adam went forward and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Can I talk to you?" He asked.