Disclaimer: Saban gives me insomnia! Why oh why can't I own the Rangers?! Alas I don't nor do I own the song. That's by the Barenaked Ladies.

Who Needs Sleep
By: Jacqui Beres

Now I lay me down not to sleep.
I just get tangled in the sheets.
I swim in sweat 3 inches deep
I just lay back and claim defeat

Zack flopped down on his bed and sighed. This was the third night in a row that he had not been able to sleep. He managed to doze for a few hours at most before he woke himself up. "What is wrong with me?" He muttered quietly in the dark. He could not seem to relax enough for his body to rest.

"I've got to sleep." He murmured, as he closed his eyes and went through a breathing exercise his Sensei had taught him years ago. It was supposed to help the mind slow down and meditate.

Lids down, I count sheep
I count heartbeats.
The only thing that counts is
that I won't sleep
I countdown, I look around

Sighing, Zack admitted defeat and got up out of his bed. He refused to look at the clock; he did not want to know how late it was. *I'm going to be so wiped out tomorrow.* He thought, as he padded into the living room. If he could not sleep, he might as well find out what was on the old boob tube.

Sprawling out on the couch, Zack grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV. After 20 minutes of judicious channel surfing, he finally gave up. "Nothing's good on TV anymore." He complained, as he wandered into the kitchen to get a snack.

Opening it, he realized something else. There was nothing good in the fridge either. "What is this? A conspiracy against me? Sheesh!"

He settled on grabbing a juice box and a bag of pretzels from the pantry. He returned to the family room and perused the family's video collection.

Who needs sleep??
Well you're never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep??
Tell me, what's that for?

Remembering to turn down the volume before he switched on the TV, Zack settled in to watch Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Two hours and a bag of pretzels later, he was not any closer to going to sleep. If anything, he was more awake than he was before.

He trudged back up to his room as quietly as possible, hoping that nobody had heard him. The last thing he needed was his Mom thinking he was a burglar and calling the cops on him again. That had been mildly amusing after the fact, but he had had a hell of a time trying to explain to the officer that he lived here and simply could not sleep and was wandering the house. Zack finally promised the officer not to wander so loudly from then on.

Back in his room he once again fell onto his bed. He was running out of ideas. He could not run through any kata; his room was not big enough and his form of martial arts tended to need music as a requirement. Not good when everyone else in the house was sleeping peacefully.

So much joy in life,
so many pleasures all around
But the pleasure of insomnia
is one I've never found.
With all life has to offer,
there's so much to be enjoyed
But the pleasures of insomnia
are ones I can't avoid.

Zack stared at the ceiling, vainly hoping that he would get so bored that he would simply pass out. Unfortunately it was not working. He was still as wide-awake as he had been 3 hours ago, only now it was becoming apparent that he was not going to sleep at all. The night was fast ending and he had yet to get more than a few minutes of shuteye.

He flipped over and his gaze came to rest on his backpack. *I hope I brought it home! Please tell me I brought it home!* Zack pleaded to himself as he grabbed his backpack and started rifling through it. There it was his guaranteed sleep remedy. Introduction to Chemistry.

He opened the book, turned on his lamp, and started to read.

Who needs sleep??
Well you're never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep??
Tell me, what's that for?

The End