(In the Power Chamber. All the rangers and Billy are lounging around. They hear a knock. No one moves to answer it and they knock again.)
Tommy: Alpha what are you waiting for? Get the door!
Alpha (appears in an apron): Aye ai ai. This is so degrading.
Adam: Well now that Billy is the in the Power Chamber genius, we have no need for you.
Tanya (shocked): You mean Alpha actually did stuff?
Guy at door: Here.
(Alpha closes the door and walks over to the rangers)
Alpha: Your paychecks. Here's one for you, one for you, one for you.
(Hands them all out)
Rocky: Wait a sec here! I think my decimal has been misplaced!
Billy: There doesn't seem to be enough zeros behind this first number.
Kat: Is it just me or are our paychecks getting smaller every time?
Tanya: I quit my job at McDonalds for this!
Billy: That's it. I'm leaving.
Rocky: I'm with you buddy.
Tommy: Hold on here! I'm the leader and we leave when I say we leave.
(Everyone looks at Tommy. Tommy takes one long glance at his paycheck.)
Tommy: Ok we can quit now.
Kat (set's her morphers and communicator on table): I think I'm going to go model. Nude.
Tommy (quickly sets his morphers and communicator down): Wait a second I'm coming too!
(The two teleport out)
Zordon: Wait a second here! I am your master and I say you cannot leave!
Adam: Screw you.
Tanya: I think I'll go check out the music business.
Adam: I'll go where ever you do.
(Arm in arm those two teleport out and toss their morphers and communicators on the table as they leave. Billy and Rocky then throw there stuff on the table.)
Rocky: Let's go pick up some hot chick from the bar for a one night stand.
Billy: Right behind you buddy.
(Those two leave)
Alpha: Zordon, we need some new rangers!
Zordon: Alpha find me five more slaves, preferably rich already so they don't really need the money, and teleport them here now.
Alpha: I know of five people but...
Zordon: Look you worthless piece of junk. Just do it!
(In New York in a recording studio the five members of the group N'Sync are trying to make their perfect song even perfecter.)
Justin: You're all I ever wanted (earthquake starts) yo what's goin' on here!
(They are teleported off in five flashes of light)
Zordon: Welcome. You have been chosen to be my slaves... er the power rangers.
Justin: Is that where I get to run around in spandex?
Zordon: You got it.
Justin: I claim myself king of da Power Rangers.
JC: There is no king you idiot.
Zordon: Shut up!
Alpha: There's one catch. Two of you will have to be girls.
(Everyone looked at Lance)
Zordon: Anyway I have chosen your titles.
Justin: This is phat.
(Alpha passes out all the morphers and communicators)
Zordon: I have assigned you to your ranger colors based on the last ranger who wore that color. Therefore, Justin like Tommy you have hair problems. So you will be the red ranger and the leader.
Justin: Yes. King o' da rangers! And don't be dissing my hair!
Zordon: Chris, like Rocky you are able to make a witty joke and be funny, even if those around you don't find you amusing. You will be second in command and the blue ranger.
Chris: I can go with that.
Zordon: JC, like Adam you are secretly always wanting to be the leader. You will be the green ranger.
Justin: Everybody want's to be like me.
JC: If I was 17 and blond I would be the leader of the group.
Justin: Yeah right. I am the one who's popular with all the honeys so forget it.
JC: But I...
Zordon: Moving right along! Lance, like Kat you're blond and share a lot of the same feminist qualities so you will be the pink ranger.
Lance: I always thought I looked good in pink.
Zordon: Good for you. Joey like Tanya you are one of the less popular of the rangers. Therefore you get to be yellow.
Justin: Think of all the hotties I'll be getting once they know I'm the red ranger.
Zordon: Rule number one. No telling ANYONE you're a power ranger. Rule number two. Don't use your powers for your own good. Rule number three. No using your powers if you're not being attacked. Rule number four, the most important. I am your master and you do what I say when I say. You can read the rest of the 3,596 rules in the official rule book.
Chris: Official rule book?
Lance: And I thought Justin was bad.
JC: So, big floatie head, what do we do now?
Zordon: Go hang out at the Youth Center until I page you. Then you come immediately.
Joey: Where's that?
Alpha: I'll teleport you there.
(They walk into the door at the Youth Center.)
Justin: Look at all these fly honeys! I'm gonna go get hooked up.
(Justin walked over to be the center of the girls attention)
Joey: Food! Gotta go eat. Later.
Lance (looking around): Hm... a ballet bar.
(Lance goes to check it out)
Chris: Let's go sit down at that table. That way I can see everybody to make fun of them.
(JC and Chris go sit down)
(Two guys walk in with girls hanging all over them.)
David: Well we just quit our last jobs.
Steve: And if things go as planned we'll be making the big bucks over at McDonalds.
Chris: Ha! McDonalds! Where did they work before? They will never make as much money as our new job pays.
JC: By the way, how much do we make?
Chris: I don't know. But think about what we're gonna do, save the world. That's worth a couple million.
(A fat guy walks over to the table. Chris stares at him wide eyed and then falls out of his chair, but quickly gets back up.)
Chris: Joey, I know you said you were going to eat but...
Ernie: Joey? You mean that guy eating up a bill over there?
Chris: Oh. I thought that... never mind.
JC (mumbling): Idiot.
Ernie: What I wanted to know is if you guys would like anything.
Chris: I want a woman and a big house. With lots of servants.
(A few seconds go by as both Ernie and JC stare at Chris)
Chris: Hehe. I'm pretty funny aren't I. Really though I don't want anything.
JC: Me neither.
(They go on talking about various things)
(Out in space)
Sprocket: Let's make a monster to destroy the rangers.
Mondo: Brilliant idea.
Klank: Oh yes. Great idea. That's why were the biggest bad guys around. Even Rita and Zedd would never have thought of making a monster to destroy the rangers.
Mondo: Silence! I don't pay you to talk.
Klank: Fine. But when you lose again don't come crying to me.
Sprocket: Let's make a monster that can't sing.
Mondo: Brilliant idea.
Sprocket: This one will definitely defeat the rangers.
(At the Youth Center)
(Justin is talking to a girl standing beside the counter)
Girl: So, do you have a girlfriend?
Justin: Actually I (feels shock from outside force) do not have a girlfriend.
Girl: So do we want to get together?
Justin: We can ditch my homies and go back to my crib.
Girl: I'm in.
Beep Beep BeepBeep Beep Beep.
Girl: What was that?
Justin: Nothing important.
Beep Beep BeepBeep Beep Beep.
Girl: There it went again.
Beep Beep BeepBeep Beep Beep.
Justin: Damn baby I gotta jet.
(Justin hears the two newest McDonalds employees laughing in the background)
Justin: What do y'all think you're laughing at?
Steve: Nothing. Nothing at all.
(Steve leans in for a kiss with his girl of the day as does David)
Beep Beep BeepBeep Beep Beep.
Justin: Alright already.
(The guys laugh some more)
Justin: I really gotta jet. And yo, you two need to stop trippin' over there.
(Justin joins others in their spot)
Justin: This better be important cuz I was chillin' with my new honey.
(Justin gets shocked this time by his communicator)
JC: While you were trying to get it on over there the rest of us responsible group members took the page and are ready to go.
Justin: But you had to wait for me cuz I'm the king of da rangers.
Chris: You and Mr. I'm-gonna-run-up-a-$100-food-bill over there.
Justin: Well, let's go. Morph or whatever we do.
Lance: Zeo Ranger one, pink.
Joey: Zeo Ranger two, yellow.
Chris: Zeo Ranger three, blue.
JC: Zeo Ranger four, green.
Justin: Zeo Ranger five, red.
(They all appear at the site with the monster and the cogs)
Chris: Why hello there Lance. I never new you looked so good in spandex.
Justin: You can satisfy your sexual urges later. Right now we have to kick this ugly's ass so I can go back to my woman.
Chris: With Lance? What are you, crazy?
Monster: I am SuckoSingo monster. And this is what I do.
(SuckoSingo starts singing. The rangers cover their ears in pain)
Chris: That head never said anything about torture!
(As the group separates cogs surround JC, Justin and Lance)
JC: Get off me!
Justin: Player haters.
Lance: Guys, we've got guns!
JC: Let's use them.
(They pull there guns out)
(They fire and are so surprised by the amount of power they use they fall backwards)
Justin: New plan!
Lance: Hit them?
JC: Good plan.
(They start trying to fight the cogs. Meanwhile Joey and Chris are monster fighting)
Chris: Take this!
Joey: And this!
(They both make a pathetic attempt at hitting the monster)
SuckoSingo: Take this!
(He sings some more causing them to collapse. Then he flings them across the grass.)
Justin (breaking away from the cogs): Don't be hurting my homie!
Joey: I'm ok Justin.
Justin: I was talking about Chris.
Chris: Let's take him down. I need those triangle weapon thingies now!
(Zeo three's weapon appears in his hands and Chris attacks SuckoSingo)
SuckoSingo: Ha. That didn't affect me.
(Then the cogs disappear and Lance and JC come to help the others)
Lance: I got it. If his powers come from bad singing, maybe good singing will destroy him.
Justin: Good idea. Come on guys.
N'Sync: You're all I ever wanted, you're all I ever need, yeah so tell me what to do now when I want you back.
SuckoSingo: No! Stop! That hurts my ears.
(SuckoSingo teleports off)
Justin: Yeah I did it!
Lance: It was my idea.
JC: We all did it.
Joey: Let's go have a feast to celebrate.
(Back in the Power Chamber)
Alpha (on the phone): Yes that's right Steve. I have five people who need to become over night black belts.... What do you mean that's impossible?... Just sign them up for your classes.
(The rangers teleport in)
Alpha: I gotta go bye.
Justin: Did you see that?
Chris: Yeah we beat the monster that even makes the Backstreet Boys sound good.
Zordon: Look idiots, you did not beat him. He went to cry to Mondo. Don't worry, he'll be back.
Justin: Well then I'm going back to my boo while we wait.
Alpha: Not so fast. We have to figure out how to defeat him.
JC: I think the singing went pretty well.
Lance: But those grey things were tough.
Justin: Whatcha think you're talking about? You fought can't sing guy with Chris.
Chris: No he sat around. I was the one who hit him with my triangle thingies.
(Suddenly the alarm went off)
Zordon: Alright rangers you must go back and fight SuckoSingo some more.
Justin: It's... what was that phrase again?
JC: Try back to action.
Justin: I didn't ask you.
Justin: Back to action!
(They teleported out)
Alpha: Let's just hope they don't really have to fight anything.
(At the fight.)
SuckoSingo: This time you're going down.
Justin: Same strategy as before guys.
N'Sync: It's tearin' up my heart whe....
(They get cut off by a group of cogs jumping on top of them)
Joey: Help! Somebody!
Chris: We're the power rangers. We have to help ourselves.
Justin: Let's kick some...
(Justin gets cut off by several incoming cogs)
Justin: Guys help!
Lance: Let's shoot them off of him.
Chris: Got it.
(They fire at both the cogs and Justin)
Justin: Yo homies them not me!
(The rangers manage to throw the cogs away. However the cogs recollect and Mondo sends more down. Then they all jump on the rangers again.)
JC: Not again.
(At Saban Studio's)
Saban: They suck! We're paying them to be rangers?
Guy: Actually yes we are sir.
Saban (breaking down): I give in.
Guy: Excuse me sir?
Saban: See the ratings? And I thought Super Human Samurai Cyber Squad did bad.
Guy: What should we do?
Saban: Call the old rangers. Tell them we'll.... (starts crying) double their salaries.
Guy (shocked): Are you sure about this?
Saban: Yes. I'm willing to give them (starts crying again) ten dollars per hour.
(The whole studio stops what they're doing as their jaw's drop in shock)
Guy: But sir...
Saban: Just do it before it's too late.
Guy: Right away sir.
(Saban breaks down as he realizes what he's done)
(Back at the fight all the rangers are standing confronting all the cogs and SuckoSingo)
Lance: I've got an idea. Why don't we blow them all up with that cannon thingie.
Justin: Right. We need the cannon now!
(The Zeo Cannon appears in their hands)
Chris: Hey that was fun. Let's do it again.
JC: One more time for good measure.
(SuckoSingo is found laying lifeless on the ground. The cogs are gone)
Justin: I did it!
Lance: But it was my idea.
(We see Klank standing to the side.)
Klank: Let's make the monster grow. Since we all know how much good that does.
Orbus: You got it.
(The monster grows. Meanwhile all of N'Sync are squabbling.)
Joey: Can't we all be friends?
Justin: Shut up! Only talk when you are spoken to.
JC: I should be the leader. Then we'd have some order around here.
Justin: You? Be leader?
Lance: Quit taking credit for my ideas!
Chris (looking up): Guys.
Justin: Not now Chris.
Chris: This is kinda important.
Justin: I do not take cr....
SuckoSingo: Hello rangers.
(All the rangers look WAY up)
JC: Ok leader you fight the monster. We'll run.
Justin: Don't run without me.
SuckoSingo: You can't run from me!
Chris: Watch us.
(They start to run off just as the Zeo MegaZord appears)
Tanya: I'm glad Billy fixed it so we could operate this thing without powers.
Adam: Yes but the scary part is if we can operate this powerless that means anyone can.
Rocky: Only if they actually know how to use it.
Kat: They'll be time for talk later. First let's beat this idiot.
SuckoSingo: You can't beat me.
(SuckoSingo starts singing again but it has no effect on the rangers.)
SuckoSingo: Hey, wait a minute!
Tanya: Ever heard of earplugs?
Tommy: We need the Zeo Saber now!
(The Zeo Saber appears and the rangers slash the monster as usual)
(Back at the Power Chamber)
Justin: Who do you punks think you are to defeat our monster?
Tommy: We're the power rangers.
Rocky: And we've come to take the power back.
Alpha (muttering): Thank God.
Adam: So if you'll just hand over the morphers and communicators we can...
Chris: Who do you freaks think you are?
Justin: Why don't y'all just jet back to your cribs and we'll forget this happened.
Kat: Are you really willing to fight us over our powers?
Lance: Of course we are.
Tommy: That would be stupid.
Chris: Long haired freak. We'll fight you and win.
Tanya: Use the word freak much. And have you looked at your own hair lately?
JC: We're better than you.
Rocky: Ok but don't say we didn't warn you.
(The rangers and N'Sync get into a fight. After five minutes of rolling around on the floor, the rangers get up with their communicators and morphers in hand.)
Justin: Yo I demand a rematch.
Kat: Sorry boys. You lost.
Justin: Man, that match was rigged. This is all wrong.
(There's a knock at the door. Everybody looks at Alpha.)
Billy: That's right bot. Now that I'm back you go back to being the Power Chamber maid.
Alpha: At least with the crappy rangers I felt important.
Rocky: Hey, somebody's got to keep things clean around here.
Alpha (answering the door and taking something): Look. Your one and only paycheck.
(Alpha hands them out.)
Chris: Wait a second here....
(Alpha teleports them away before they can protest.)
Adam: Now what?
Billy (excited): I'm going to go create new weapons and fix the old ones.
(Billy heads off)
Rocky (excited): I'm going to go get some food down at the Youth Center.
Kat: I'm going to.... damn I have to go teach my classes.
(Kat teleports off)
Tommy: Kat's going to be running around teaching those kids in practically nothing? Wait up!
(Tommy teleports off)
Tanya: So, Adam, what do you wanna do?
(Tanya runs and jumps on top of him and the two of them fall down behind one of the control panels)
Alpha: What about me?
(Rocky hands Alpha a mop)
Rocky: Have at it.
(Rocky teleports out)
Alpha: Aye ai ai.
(Alpha starts mopping)
Zordon: They're all gone. Finally. Now I can go back to watching my soaps.
(Zordon disappears leaving the main room of the Power Chamber quiet. Except for the occasional noise from Adam and Tanya)