Disclaimer:Saban owns, I watched, I borrowed. Anything else
mentioned by brand name is owned by...someone else (it's hard to blur logos
in a fanfic). Jeremy, thanks for the critique -- sorry about your monitor
;) Kittie, thanks for the encouragement, girl! Fair warning: this is a
parody. I am an equal opportunity mocker and actually like all of the characters.
If your sense of humor is lacking, go no farther. Do not pass go, do not
collect.... Okay, if your sense of humor is firmly intact, "Lay on,
MacDuff!" (I know, Ellen, I'm mixing my Shakespeare). :)
"What?!" Kimberly shoved a kid off the barstool he was sitting on in order to get a better view of the television. "Who are those people?" She glanced at her watch with a frown. "And why hasn't Zordon ...oops."
Ernie, busy drying glasses shook his head, looking up at the ceiling. With a sigh he pretended he didn't know what she was talking about. "What's the matter, Kim?"
She smiled, waving her hands around. "Oh, like nothing. Ya know, just the usual. I...uh...just remembered there's a sale at Nordies. Gotta go, bye!"
Shaking his head as the teen ran out of the juice bar, Ernie watched the boy climb back onto the stool. The kid scowled, straightening out his beret and smoothing his very bright shirt. "Is she always like that? She should try to be more like me." He pushed his glasses up with smirk.
"Yeah." Ernie rolled his eyes. _Where do these kids come from? First the one who claimed he played basketball with the Rangers cheering him on and now this little dweeb._ "Have some stale popcorn, kid."
* * *
"Aisha!" Kim ran up to her friend. "We have a problem and-"
"Hang on, Kim." Aisha handed her a bunch of flyers. "Help me post these, will you?" She straightened the fireman's hat on her head. "Fire safety first!"
"But..." Kim took the flyers with a confused look. "That was over four months ago!"
"Hey you!" Aisha marched off, waving the flyers at a man smoking a cigarette. "Smoking will kill you!" She chased after the man as he ran away. "Running with a lit cigarette is a fire hazard! Stop! I'm the Fire Safety Patrol!"
Kim sighed heavily. "Maybe Tommy was right. She is taking this a little too seriously." Chewing on a nail she tried to decide what to do with the flyers. With a little giggle she shrugged. "I'll ask Tommy!"
* * *
Tommy and Adam stopped their sparring mid-strike to look at Rocky in disbelief. Rocky shrugged, a goofy grin on his face.
"Anybody hungry?" Rocky looked around the park and spotted the hotdog vendor. He ran over to it. "I'll take three chili dogs, a large order of cheese fries, a side of -"
Adam shook his head as Tommy winced. "He just hasn't been the same since he was under that pachinko monster's spell."
Tommy nodded sadly. 'Yeah. It's hard to get over those spells, you know? I mean," Tommy scowled, getting into the subject. "how many times are Rita and Zedd gonna screw with our minds and our insecurities before we totally snap?!"
Recoiling, Adam raised his hands. "Um...easy, Tommy."
"Then they send these damn monsters down and it's the same old thing every time!" Tommy began to pace. "Bad puns, calling us power punks, insulting our mothers and sisters-"
"Tommy..." Sweat beaded on Adam's forehead as he looked around to see if anyone was listening.
Fortunately the people of Angel Grove were completely oblivious.
"...and sending us to those blasted pocket dimensions! I really hate that!" Tommy paced faster. "And we have to wait every single time. Wait, Rangers. Wait until they grow the damn monster before you attack it! Get your butts almost trashed, Rangers. Don't escalate a battle!"
Adam backed away, as Tommy's pacing began to wear a path in the grass. "He's gone around the bend this time..."
"TOM-MAE!" Kim waved her hands as she ran towards them, the flyers still clutched tightly.
The teen stopped ranting and immediately turned to face his girlfriend. "Kim? What's-"
Tommy winced, rubbing his ear. "I'm right here, Kim."
"Oh, right." Kim smiled. "Sorry, habit."
"What's going on?" Tommy looked around, looking to see what had set her off this time. "Nordies having a big sale again?"
"They are?!" Kim's eyes widened in dismay. "They always give me advance notice! There won't be anything left-"
"Kim!" Tommy grabbed her shoulders. "Why were you in such a rush to find us?"
Adam stepped up. "Has Zedd sent another cheesy monster for us to battle in our flashy spandex uniforms that show off every spare ounce of flesh on our bodies and make it hard for us guys to fight without staring longingly at our teammates?"
"Huh?" Kim and Tommy both looked at Adam, confused looks on their faces.
Tears formed in Kim's eyes. "Are you saying I'm..." She gulped. "Fat?"
"NO!" Adam's face turned beet red. "You look totally awesome and incredibly hot in your pink spandex, or those little crop tops...um...." He bit his lip and backed away as Tommy scowled at him. "Never mind."
Rocky came scampering up, a Dove bar clutched in both hands. "Hey, Kimmie! Wanna play a game?"
"Maybe later, okay?" Kim said smiling. "Uh, Rocky, you have chocolate on your chin.." Her smile faltered slightly as he wiped his chin on his arm.
"Uh, yeah." Kim nodded, moving closer to Tommy.
"What are those?" Tommy pointed to the flyers.
"Aisha is still putting up flyers." Kim indicated the trees, benches and trash cans in the surrounding park, all covered in fire safety posters.
"Talk about a power trip," Adam murmured.
The teens nodded.
"OH!" Kim dropped the flyers and clutched Tommy's arm. "I remember now! I was in Ernie's practicing my floor routine while all the guys watched-"
Tommy scowled again. Before he could say a word, Aisha stomped up.
"Kimberly Ann Hart! I gave you those flyers to post!" She knelt and gathered them up. "Dropping them like that is littering -- AND a fire hazard!" Holding on to her fireman's helmet she stood and turned to Adam. "Hey, little frog. You wanna help me?"
Adam gulped and backed away, as Aisha waggled her eyebrows at him. "Uh...."
"I'll help!" Rocky reached for the flyers, hands covered in chocolate and ice cream.
"GUYS!" Kimberly put her hands on her hips. "We need to get to the Command Center right away!"
"Huh?" They all stared at her.
"Did Zordon contact you?" Tommy got a hurt puppy-dog look as he pouted and looked at his communicator.
"No, I saw it on TV." Kim patted his arm. "I think we're being attacked and Zordon missed it."
"That's highly doubt-" Adam stopped as Tommy scowled at him again. "Guess we'd better go."
"Where we going?" Rocky perked right up.
"Behind these bushes to teleport." Tommy grabbed Rocky's arms. "No! Rocky, we're gonna teleport! Wait until we get to the Command Center!"
Rocky squirmed. "But I gotta GO!"
Adam took one of Rocky's arms with Tommy still holding the other and the teens teleported out.
"Mama!" A little boy pointed. "LOOK! A rainbow!"
"Oh, honey," She went back to reading her book. "That's just the Power Rangers."
* * *
"RANGERS!" Zordon looked surprised as the Rangers teleported in. "I HOPE YOU'RE NOT HERE TO ARGUE WITH ME AGAIN ABOUT YOUR SALARIES." He frowned. "THERE ARE STILL SEVERAL OPENINGS FOR THE PEACE CONFERENCE...."
"NO!" All the Rangers yelled in unison.
"Gotta go! Gotta go!" Rocky ran off, past Billy who shook his head.
"What did you break now?" Billy leaned against a console, looking completely disgusted.
"Well, my curling iron isn't heating up right-" Kim began.
"I told you, girl, gel then curl!" Aisha shook her head.
"Kim said she saw an attack on TV," Tommy said, ignoring the two girls who continued to debate.
"IMPOSSIBLE." Zordon shook his head. "I WOULD KNOW-"
Billy smirked as the viewing globe brought up downtown Angel Grove. "Behold the viewing globe."
"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE."
Billy shrugged. "Ya snooze, ya lose."
"It looks like people are panicking!" Tommy stepped closer, blocking Adam's view.
Adam frowned and stepped around to stand next to him. "Actually, it just looks like-"
"Those people are imitating the Power Rangers!" Tommy turned. "It's Morphin' Time!" Only he and Adam struck the pose.
"...and I'm telling you, you'll fry your hair if you-"
"What did I miss?" Rocky came skipping back into the chamber.
Billy rolled his eyes, bringing his hand up to his head in a 'L' . "Losers."
Tommy cleared his throat loudly. "I said..IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!"
"Oops!" Kim and Aisha hurried over as Rocky giggled and took his place. Billy gave an exaggerated sigh and strolled over.
"Thank you." Tommy shook his head, rolling his eyes.
"RED RANGER POWER!"
"YELLOW RANGER POWER!"
"BLACK RANGER POWER!"
"PINK RANGER POWER!"
"BLUE RANGER POWER!"
"WHITE RANGER POWER!"
* * *
No one even noticed as the six Rangers teleported in and posed. The people were running towards a bus that had pulled up in the middle of an intersection. There was already a crowd surrounding it. Music blared out of speakers from flip-out sections in the bus and strobe lights flashed, while smaller colored lights lit up a disco globe.
Traffic was jammed up and angry drivers honked their horns and yelled, shaking their fists at the growing crowd.
"What nefarious stratagem has Zedd conspired?"
"Huh?" Everyone looked at Billy.
He shook his head and sighed. "What evil plan has Zedd hatched?"
Billy turned away. "Losers," he muttered.
"Hey, look!" Bulk and Skull noticed the Rangers standing there. "The Rangers are here to direct traffic!"
"Shah, right!" Aisha put a hand on her hip. "I'll have you know-"
"We're here to check out this disturbance!"
"Oh." Skull shrugged. "Well, go ahead Tommy - oops."
"Numbskull!" Bulk hit him on the head. "They aren't supposed to know that we know!"
"Sorry, Bully, I mean Bulkie!" Skull ran off, Bulk chasing him down the street.
"Look!" Kim pointed to the crowd.
"They're imitating us!" Tommy fisted a hand. "Let's get 'em, Rangers!"
All the Rangers except Blue dashed, cartwheeled, leaped and skipped towards the crowd. Billy sighed heavily. "But, guys... They aren't-"
Every Ranger stopped and looked at Rocky. He shrugged.
Tommy made his way to the front of the crowd and stanced. "You there! How dare you imitate the Power Rangers, misleading all these people into thinking we're endorsing your product?"
"Yeah!" Kim stepped up. "And disco is dead!" She pulled the plug and KC and The Sunshine Band no longer blared out of the speakers.
"Hey!" One of the figures in the shiny, metallic blue outfit walked up, followed by pink, green, yellow and red. "We aren't imitating anyone. We're-"
"Right." Tommy crossed his arms. "You mean to tell us you're jumping around in colored suits that remarkably resemble ours and it's just a coincidence?"
"Yeah. Why would you want to do this if you didn't have to?" Adam cringed as the Rangers all looked at him. "I mean, being a Ranger is an honor and...."
"Quiet, Kermit." Rocky giggled and ducked as Adam swung at him.
"Cheetah want a banana?"
"Knock it off!" Aisha smacked both of them.
"Look," the man in the blue, metallic suit pulled off his headgear. "We're-"
The Rangers gasped and stepped back, recoiling in horror. "Never remove your helmet in public!"
"Rule number six!"
"Yeah! Just because everyone knows us by the color we wear every day-"
"And our voices and heights-"
"And fighting styles-"
"And our watches that beep that irritating little ditty-"
Billy shook his head. "Scotty, beam me up. There's no intelligent life on this planet."
"Listen." The man in blue smiled. "We're just dancers hired to be in this Pentium commercial."
"A com...commercial?" Tommy took a step back. "Oops."
"I tried to tell you." Billy walked up. "But, oh no. Pig-headed White Ranger had to have it his way."
Tommy turned to face Billy. "Wanna play with Saba?" He held the sword up and it smirked at the Blue Ranger, tiny red eyes flashing.
"Fine." Billy put his hands up and backed off. He turned away muttering, "Never would've done that to Jason...."
Aisha stomped her foot. "Let's go! I've got flyers to pass out!"
"And I've got to go to the Mall!" Kim whined.
* * *
The Rangers flashed back in to the Power Chamber in a streak of rainbow colors and demorphed.
"RANGERS. I AM PICKING UP A STRANGE DISTURBANCE ON THE MOON. IT-"
"Save it Zordon." Billy shook his head. "We already did our good deed for the day."
"Yeah." Kim peered at a handful of her hair. "And that helmet is giving me split ends!"
"No, girlfriend, that's 'cause you're curling-"
"Zordon." Tommy stepped up. "After a very, very long time of fighting cheesy monsters and getting put under spells that make us act crazy, putting up with bad scripts and all the things fanfic writers put us through, we're taking a break."
"Yeah!" The Rangers cheered.
"BUT... WHO WILL SAVE THE WORLD?"
Billy snorted. "You mean Angel Grove?"
Adam shrugged. "Why not try those guys in the suits downtown?"
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHAT IF I NEED TO CONTACT YOU?"
Tommy grinned as the Rangers grouped together, preparing to teleport. "We goin' to Disney Land!"
"RANGERS, NO!" Zordon's eyes widened. "YOU MUST AVOID THE KINGDOM OF THE MOUSE!"
Kim waved just before they teleported out. "Buh-bye!"