Fanfiction: What You Don't Know
by: Kay Enasni

Kay: All right everyone! Take it from the top! Lights! Camera! Action!
Billy: Oh my dear Katherine! How I have longed for your tender kiss.
Kat: Kiss me then William! Kiss me!
Billy: Indeed I shall my love! Indee--
Kay: What is going on here! Who wrote the love scene! There wasn't supposed to be any love scenes in this fanfic! This is supposed to be "The Pink Ranger beats up another cheesy monster" scene!
Billy: (Walks up to Kay) Aw! Come on Kay! You're no fun! Why can't I have just one love scene?
Kay: If I wanted you to have a love scene I would've written it, wouldn't I! Why do you think I made Cestria dump you in Half-Breed?
Billy: I like Billy: Past Present Future better. At least I got a chick in that one.
Kay: That was my co-writer's idea. Now shoot the right scene or you'll find yourself out of a job!
Billy: (Whispering) The things I do for show business. You wouldn't believe it.

He walks back off set and sits in his chair.

Kay: Okay, let's try this again. Lights! Camera! Action!
Kat: ZEO RANGER I! PINK! Hi-ya! You've-- huh?
Billy: (Jumps into scene dressed in a cape and mask) I AM THE MEGA BUNGLE BOY RANGER! HEAR ME ROAR! ROOOOOOAR! YOU'VE MET YOUR MATCH MEGA MONSTER MUGGER!
Kat: Billy! This is my scene! Get off the set!
Kay: Cut! Cut! Get off the set dimwit. This is Kat's scene! You don't star in this one!
Billy: Why, may I ask, not? Am I not a good enough actor for you?
Kay: (Frustrated) You're a good actor but I think it's time for you to let other people take the spotlight once in a while. I've written too many fics about you.
Billy: Fine, I guess you don't like me. I'll go sit in my chair.

Billy goes and sits in his chair.

Kay: (Whispering) How dense can you get? (Raises voice) Now. We are going to try this again. Maybe this time we wont have any interruptions. Will we Mr. Cranston?
Billy: Yes sir.
Kat: (Giggles)
Kay: Cut it out! You'll get more fics to star in!
Billy: Promise?
Kay: (Sighs) I promise. Lights! Camera! Action!
Kat: ZEO RANGER I! PINK! Hi-ya! You've had it Mega Monster Mugger! You're going down!
Mega Monster Mugger: I don't think so! You will never defeat me! Wha- HEY GET OFF THE SET!

Billy suddenly begins making gagging noises, and stumbles onto the set using a corny southern accent and wearing cowboy clothes.

Billy: They've g..got me p..p-partner! Tell Lil' Emily that- that I ain't gonna come h.. home tonight! Tell Ol' Yeller I love 'im! (Gags and falls on the ground) H- hold me close Kat! I'm goin' to the Great Beyond!
Kat: In your wildest dreams buddy! KAY! GET HIM OFF THE SET! HE'S RUINING MY SCENE!
Kay: Billy. For once in your pathetic life listen to me! When I say get off the set, I mean get off the set!
Billy: Come on Kay! Just one scene! Just one!
Kay: How about one fat lip! GET OFF THE SET ALREADY!
Billy: (Sulking) Fine. I know when I'm not wanted.

Billy goes back to his chair.

Kay: Some people are just so impossible. Once again! Lights! Camera! Action!
Kat: ZEO RANGER I! PINK! Hi-ya! You've had it Mega Monster Mugger! You're going down!
MMM: I don't think so! You will never defeat me! I am far to powerful for one little, pathetic Power Weakling to take on!
Kat: Don't count on it Mega Monster Mugger! OH JEEZ! BILLY! GET OFF THE SET! I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FINISH THIS SCENE SOMETIME BETWEEN NOW AND ETERNITY!

Billy, dressed in a black suit and tie, stands in front of the camera.

Billy: (Yelling) Do I want to make a deal for YOU! YOU! YOU! Sale, Sale, Sale! Our cars are all on sale. And for a discount price! Come to Cranston's Mega Used Car Dealership and we'll find the car for you! And remember, our motto is "SELL THEM DARN CARS! OR ELSE!"
Kat: (Pushes Billy off the set) If he does that one more time I swear that I will rip his face off!
Kay: All right Billy! THAT'S IT! YOU'RE OUTA HERE! KAPUT! IN OTHER WORDS: YOU'RE FIRED!
Billy: (Taken aback) I-I- WHAAAAA!

Billy begins sobbing and runs off the set.

Kat: Thank goodness he's gone!
Kay: (Sits up in bed screaming) AHHHHH! Oh my gosh! What a dream! I feel REALLY inspired!

She jumps out of bed and runs to her computer, typing away.

Kay: "Fanfiction: What you Don't Know (The Mental Conflicts Between Author And Character)" PERFECT! I LOVE IT! Kittie's gonna love this one!

AND SO I TYPED--AND TYPED--AND TYPED. Until:

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