Are You Psycho or Are We Insane?
by : Crypt

Carlos sat in his quarters flipping through a book on psychology. He had a sudden interest in this subject because he wanted to find out the Spices’ true personality. When he was ready to start asking questions, he got a notepad and pencil and went into the dining room.

“Hey, Carlos, what’s up?” T.J. asked.

“Well, I’ve just had this sudden interest,” Carlos said. “I’m trying to analyze true personalities.”

“Oooh, I love psychology!” C.C. cried. “Carlos, ask me some questions.”

“Okay, C.C., what animal do you most identify with?”

“Oh, I always see myself as a dolphin.”

“You? A dolphin?” Ruth asked. “I thought you hated salt water.”

“Well, we dolphins adapt,” C.C. said. “I’ll......get a perm.”

Jenny came into the room next.

“Ah, now THIS is the woman to analyze,” Carlos said. “Jenny, these are a series of questions to determine one’s true personality.”

“Psychology?” Jenny asked.

“Yeah. I just wanted to ask you a question...."

"I'm not crazy."

"No, no. What animal do you most identify with?”

“Probably a cat,” the Cryptkeeper replied.

“Yeah.....that’s one,” Jenny said. “I’d also identify with a pig......”

The others broke out laughing.

“Yeah....pigs are very shy, and they like to get down and get dirty,” Jenny continued. “Then I’d identify with a snake because I slither around monsters and act all cunning and stuff.”

“Uh....Jenny, just one animal,” Carlos said.

“No, when you’re as young as I am and you’re dead, you’ll need a lot of animals to identify with,” Jenny told him.

“Okay, I’m going to be on your tail ‘til you give me a definite answer,” Carlos warned. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I happen to identify with a homing pigeon.”

He and the Rangers left the room. Jenny shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know what his problem is, but I was only telling the truth. I do have a lot of things in common with a lot of animals, you know.”

Once the Spices were done in the dining room, they went to the bridge to keep an eye on Angel Grove. They switched on the monitor and a news report was on the air.

“Once again, another disturbance has occurred in Angel Grove,” the reporter announced. “The cause is unknown. Here come the Power Rangers now. Excuse me, Rangers, could you tell us what happened?”

These Rangers looked a little different. The squares across their chests were brown instead of the different Ranger colors. In response, they pulled out their Astro Blasters and fired. The news crew ran away.

“Oh come on! What was that for!?” the Cryptkeeper asked.

“The real Rangers are being framed.....again,” Jenny said.

Luckily, the real Rangers popped out from behind a van.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” the evil Red one said.

“I can’t believe this,” Ashley muttered.

“They look just like.....” Carlos began.

“It can’t be!” Andros cried.

“But we ARE Rangers,” the blue imposter said.

“And we’re here for one reason only,” the yellow one said.

“To destroy you,” the red one concluded.

The two teams rushed into battle. The Spices found it hard to tell who was winning. The battle was eventually carried into the warehouse. The real Rangers regrouped and stared at their opponents.

“You were right,” the red imposter said. “We aren’t Power Rangers.”

“Then who are you?” Andros asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

The evil Rangers spread their arms out. Soon, they had their own look. They approached the Power Rangers, laughing menacingly.

“We’re the Psycho Rangers,” the red one said.

“We’re faster than you....” said the black one.

“We’re smarter than you....” said the blue one.

“We’re stronger than you....” said the yellow one.

“But we’re evil,” the pink one concluded.

The two Ranger teams charged into battle again. The Power Rangers were losing terribly.

“Hello!” Jenny cried in shock.

“I can’t believe this!” C.C. cried. “Have the Rangers finally met their match?”

“Come on, Rangers!” Spinal pleaded. “Beat those guys!”

When the battle came to a pause again, the Psycho Rangers grabbed the Power Rangers’ forehead and were apparently absorbing their thoughts.

“Now we know everything about your powers!” Psycho Red announced.

Then the Psychos stood in a line and fired a massive energy blast at the Power Rangers. However, this blast was held for an extended period of time.

“Ouch....” the Cryptkeeper mumbled.

“Wow......” Spinal muttered. “I hate those Psychos already.”

Finally, the Psychos finished their blast.

“That was just a warning,” Psycho Red announced. “We’ll be back......and you won’t be lucky next time.”

The Psycho Rangers disappeared.

“Wow, what was that?” C.C. asked. “Those guys are mean?”

“They cheat and they show off,” Jenny said. “What a bunch of losers.”

The Power Rangers returned to the bridge sighing in frustration. The Spices stood up to greet them.

“Hey, you guys really received a good whippin’!” the Cryptkeeper cried.

“Oh really?” Andros asked as he sat down.

“Where did they come from?” Carlos asked.

“Well, I can take a good guess,” Jenny said. “I bet that Mom created them.”

“They’re just like us,” Ashley said. “Only stronger. They read something from my mind.”

“They’re learning about us,” Andros went on. “The more they know, the harder they’ll be to beat.”

“Well.....” Jenny calmly stepped forward. “We’ll just fight fire with fire. We’ll learn about them. In fact, that really long energy blast gave me a mega idea.”

“Is it.....mega?” the Cryptkeeper asked.

“It’s mega,” Jenny replied. “I need four volunteers to help me fight the Psycho Rangers.”

“You’re going after those guys; are you CRAZY!?” T.J. cried.

“Don’t worry, I have my ways,” Jenny told him. “Well, Spices?”

“I’m with you,” the Cryptkeeper said.

“Me, too; I’ll send those Psychos straight to hell,” Earl added.

“I’m going!” C.C. called. “Come on, Spinal!”

“No way; I’m not going near those Psychos!” Spinal declared.

“Spinal, you might as well come,” Jenny said. “We’ll need your firepower.”

“Well......” Spinal thought for a moment.

“Come on, Spinal!” C.C. cried. “We can’t win without you!”

“Okay.....if you need me that badly....”

“Great! Let’s go!” Jenny called.

“So what’s your plan?” the Cryptkeeper asked.

“Walk with me to the Simudeck and I’ll tell you,” Jenny said.

The Spices walked through the hallway.

“Are we really going through with this?” Spinal asked. “If the Rangers couldn’t take that really long blast, neither can we.”

“They’re not going to pull that one on us; I guarantee it,” Jenny said. “They’re not going to read our thoughts either.....not if they aspire to be true warriors.”

“Oh, I get it!” the Cryptkeeper said with a chuckle. “Sneaky, sneaky....”


The Spices reached the Simudeck and created the simulation of a monster.

“Okay, here’s what I had in mind,” Jenny explained. “You know how the Rangers combine their weapons to form the Quadroblaster? We should do the same with our powers. We can combine out energy blasts to form a really large one.”

“How do we do that?” Spinal asked.

“We stand in a line, we throw our energy simultaneously, and we direct it toward the monster. The fireballs should join together to form a large one. If we each give it our all, we should be able to outdo the Psychos.”

“Let’s do it!” the Cryptkeeper cried.

The Spices stood in a line and gathered the energy in their hands. When Jenny gave the signal, the Spices through it forward at the monster. However, their energy blasts didn’t quite meet as planned.

“Oh boy......of course, this is going to take practice,” Jenny said. “Come on, let’s try again.”

The Spices spent the next hour perfecting their team-up move. Eventually, they did get better. When the hour had passed, they were ready to take on the evil Psycho Rangers.

“I am detecting several disturbances on Earth,” Deca called.

“Stop simulation,” Jenny ordered. She and the Spices raced into the bridge.

Cassie tapped some buttons on the control terminal. “The Psychos are attacking random people on Earth.”

“Why?” the Cryptkeeper asked in an English accent.

“They’re looking for us,” T.J. said.

“But why would they mistake innocent people for Rangers?” Cassie asked.

“Probably because you’re normal, everyday people like everyone else,” Jenny said.

T.J. opened up his communicator. “Zhane, be on the lookout. The Psychos are attacking innocent people.”

“Right. I’m at the market,” Zhane said. “There’s no sign of them.”

“Now what?” Hallie asked.

“We can’t just go after the Psychos without a reason,” Jenny said.

“We have a perfectly good reason; they’re attacking innocents!” Spinal exclaimed.

“Hmm.....maybe we can get them to mistake us for Rangers,” C.C. suggested.

“If only we knew why they were mistaking innocents in the first place,” the Cryptkeeper said.

Everyone stood silent for a few minutes. Soon, Andros entered the bridge carrying a hand-held computer.

“This is why the Psychos were attacking innocent people,” he said. He opened the computer, which made the exact same sound as the Rangers’ communicators. “This means that we absolutely can’t use our communicators.”

“Oh man!” T.J. cried suddenly. “I called Zhane.”

“He was at the market,” Cassie said.

“Okay, we’ll check it out.” Andros and T.J. left the ship. The Spices sighed and sat down.

“While we’re waiting, Jenny, let me ask you some more psychology questions,” Carlos said. “If you were a body of water, what would you be?”

“Wet,” Jenny replied.

The others laughed. Carlos sighed. “You’re not going to cooperate, are you?”

“Hey, you’re not going to use me as a guinea pig for your psychology experiments,” Jenny said. “A guinea pig is not one of the animals I would be.”

Several minutes later, Andros and T.J. came back.

“They got Zhane; we’ve got to find him fast!” Andros cried.

Ashley tapped some buttons on the computer. “I’ve got him. He’s in the old library.”

“Old library?” Spinal echoed.

“Remember, DON’T use our communicators,” Andros said.

“We’ll be keeping an eye on you guys,” Jenny said. “If you should need to morph, we’ll use this thing to distract the Psychos.”

“It’s a deal,” Andros said. “Let’s go.”

The Rangers left the Megaship. Jenny flipped on the monitor with a smile.

“We’ll be waiting,” she muttered.

The Rangers teleported outside the old library. As they ran, they crashed into something invisible. T.J. came in and pounded on it. It was a force field of some sort.

“We need to morph,” T.J. said, turning around.

“No, we can’t!” Cassie cried. “They’ll hear us.”

“We just have to wait a minute so that the Spices can distract them,” Andros said.

“That’s our cue, ladies and gentlemen,” Jenny called from the ship. She, along with the Cryptkeeper, Earl, C.C., and Spinal left the ship. They teleported to the warehouse where the Rangers first fought the Psychos.

“Okay, everybody ready?” Jenny asked, holding the pocket computer readily in her hand. Everyone else nodded. Jenny opened the computer, emitting the communicator sound. Then the Spices lined up and stood against the wall, waiting for the Psychos to attack.

“Oh man, I am so nervous,” Spinal admitted.

“Just ease back and relax, and we’ll be fine,” Jenny assured him.

Suddenly, the Psycho Rangers appeared. Psycho Yellow grabbed Jenny without warning and shoved her against a pillar.

“Did you think you can get away from me, Yellow Ranger?” she asked.

“Yellow Ranger, me? I’ve never been so insulted in all my death!” Jenny replied. She grabbed Psycho Yellow’s wrist and flipped her over, then took her place against the wall. “We’ve been waiting to face the.....who are you guys, anyway?”

The Psycho Rangers stood in a line as well and started advancing on the Spices.

“We’re the Psycho Rangers,” Psycho Red replied, repeating the same routine as they did with the Power Rangers.

“We’re faster than you.....” Psycho Black said.

“Smarter than you.....” Psycho Blue said.

“Stronger than you.....” Psycho Yellow said.

“But we’re evil!” Psycho Pink announced.

The Psychos stopped walking and introduced themselves.

“Psycho Red!”

“Psycho Blue!”

“Psycho Black!”

“Psycho Yellow!”

“Psycho Pink!”

“And you guys are pathetic!” Psycho Red concluded.

The Cryptkeeper leaned closer to Jenny. “They don’t know us very well, do they?”

Jenny smiled. “That’s a very entertaining introduction ceremony,” she told the Psychos. “Now it’s our turn.”

The Spices advanced now, ready for their own display.

“We’re the Spice Club!” Jenny announced.

“We’re crazy....” C.C. said.

“We’re sexy.....” the Cryptkeeper said.

“We’re cool.....” Earl said.

“But most of all....” Spinal began.

Then the Spices cried out in unison, “We’re cute!!!”

They stopped walking and called out their own names.

“Tonfa Spice!”

“Zombie Spice!”

“Speedy Spice!”

“Boxer Spice!”

“Spinal Spice!”

“The Spice Club?” Psycho Yellow asked. “Astronema told us about you.”

“Let’s get ‘em!” Psycho Red cried.

The Psycho Rangers started charging. Jenny only shot her palm out.

“Hold it! We’re not done chatting yet!”

The Psychos stopped.

“Just how did you manage to defeat the Power Rangers?” Jenny asked.

“Easy. We absorbed their thoughts,” Psycho Red replied. “We knew every move they were going to make before they could make.”

“Absorbed the Rangers’ thoughts?” Jenny asked. “What a weak and cowardly thing to do!”

“What are you talking about!?” Psycho Blue asked.

“You guys were created just recently; therefore, you have a lot to learn about the way of the warrior,” Jenny explained. “In the true field of battle, one never knows their opponents’ abilities. I’ll bet that if you hadn’t absorbed the Rangers’ thoughts, you wouldn’t have been able to defeat them. The same holds true with us.”

“Are you saying that you can actually defeat us!?” Psycho Pink cried.

“That’s preposterous!” Psycho Red cried. “You can’t defeat us!”

“Well, you can’t blame a group of crazy-sexy weirdos for trying!” Jenny called. “So, what do you say? Will you absorb our thoughts in your cowardly manner, or will you fight us.....with honor?”

“You got it!” Psycho Red shouted. “We’ll fight with honor.....and we’ll crush you! I’m after you, you little pest!”

Jenny chuckled. “All righty then.” She turned to the Spices. “What about the rest of you guys?”

“Let’s see.....Earl’s black, right?” the Cryptkeeper asked.

“Actually, I’m wearing blue and white,” Earl said. “So I’ll get the blue one; you get the black one.”

“I’m fighting the black one; got it,” the Cryptkeeper muttered.

C.C. pondered for a moment. “Which one will you fight, Spinal?”

“It doesn’t matter; I just want to get this over with,” Spinal said.

“I’m fighting that girl!” Psycho Yellow cried.

“Whoa! Well, Spinal, looks like you’re fighting the pink one,” the Cryptkeeper said.

“Oh great,” Spinal mumbled. “I guess it beats fighting the red one.”

“Good,” Jenny said flatly. “The fight plan is set.”

The Psycho Rangers performed several fighting poses. Jenny just smirked.

“Now THAT was impressive,” she said, taking on her mother’s personality. She paused for a brief second. “DESTROY THEM!!!”

The others ignored her attitude and raced into battle. Jenny and Psycho Red stepped toward each other cautiously.

“Well?” Psycho Red asked. “Come and get me.”

“After you,” Jenny replied.

Psycho Red pulled out his sword and charged. Jenny ducked and elbowed his back. The two raced toward each other again......

The Cryptkeeper threw a spin kick, which Psycho Black rolled under. Now that Psycho Black was at a different angle, the Cryptkeeper stuck his other foot out, catching the Psycho in the shoulder.

“Boo!” the Cryptkeeper shouted.

“You don’t scare me!” Psycho Black shouted back.

“I guess you’ll have to be taught another lesson,” Zombie Spice responded. “You might as well leave us alone. You know you’re going to die......eventually.”

“I think YOU’RE the one who’s going to die,” Psycho Black said.

“Enough. Time to kiss my ass.....”

Psycho Blue leaped at Earl, who simply punched him into the air with his skinny fist. Earl possesses a lot of strength in his skinny body. He’s like an African-American Hercules. As Psycho Blue stood back up, Earl rolled towards him and circled his fists in front of him, punching the Psycho Ranger repeatedly in the face. Finally, Earl headbutted his opponent, sending him crashing into some barrels. Psycho Blue got up again and pulled out a small axe.

“Psycho Spin!” he called.

He started spinning so fast that he became a blur. He zipped toward Earl, repeatedly striking his chest with the axe. Unlike most of the others, Earl didn’t do much crying out when he got hurt. At least he didn’t cry out as loudly as the others. His screams were gurgled by the blood that burst out of his mouth with each blow. Finally, Earl fell backward.

C.C. battled Psycho Yellow vigorously. C.C. leaped and jump-kicked the Psycho Ranger. Psycho Yellow pulled out her version of the Star Slinger and fired energy bolts at Speedy Spice. C.C. ducked under the shots, then raced at her opponent again. When Psycho Yellow attempted a spin kick, C.C. caught her with a leg sweep.

“Guess you were wrong about us, huh?” she asked.

“Why you......” Psycho Yellow growled.

Spinal fought Psycho Pink in his shy manner. Psycho Pink raced toward him. Spinal just ducked and curled himself up. As fast as Psycho Pink was, she couldn’t slow herself down in time to avoid tripping over him. Psycho Pink got up and threw a leg sweep. Spinal hopped over it, then brought both his sword and shield down on her. He tried to kick, but Psycho Pink grabbed his ankle. Thinking quickly, Spinal lashed out with his sword and nicked his opponent. Psycho Pink released his ankle, then leaped toward him. Spinal just repelled her by throwing an upward flaming sword sweep.

“Ha ha ha; you haven’t got a chance against us!” he called innocently in his feeble attempt at being evil. *Boy, that was pathetic. Guess I’ll never make it in the forces of darkness.*

Jenny continued her fight. As Psycho Red threw sword strikes at her, she took a flying leap backward. When she landed, she leaped toward Psycho Red. Before landing this time, she grabbed his head with both hands and shoved her knee into his face. Psycho Red growled with anger and gave her a devastating strike to her chest, knocking her to the ground. Then he began to advance on her.....

Jenny put her heel palms together and hastily gathered energy. “HIYAH!!!” She threw a fireball at Psycho Red, knocking him back. Then all the Psycho Rangers rejoined, as did the Spices.

Psycho Red sighed. “You are all much better than we expected.”

Jenny smiled. “I knew you were going to say that. You underestimated us, pal. Obviously, you’re not as tough as you claim to be. You see......we are the true warriors.......but do you see us going around and bragging about it? No, you don’t.”

“We’ll still destroy you,” Psycho Red said. “Watch this.”

The Psychos began gathering energy in their hands. When it was powerful enough, they thrust the energy out at the Spices, blowing them away. The Spices stood up slowly, coughing the smoke away. Jenny looked at her pals.

“Now’s a good time to try out our move,” she said. “Everybody ready?”

The others nodded. The group stood in a line and gathered energy in their palms. The Psychos did the same.

“Now!!” Jenny shouted.

The Spices shot their energy forward towards the center. The Psychos just tossed their energy out at them. The Spice energy merged into one large fireball, racing toward the Psychos. Although the Psycho energy outside of the fireball struck the Spices, the Spice fireball blew the Psychos away brutally. The Psychos stood up slowly. Suddenly, they grabbed their heads.

“What’s happening!?” Psycho Red cried.

They vanished suddenly.

“What happened?” Spinal asked.

Jenny stood frozen with a surprised look on her face. “I think we beat them,” she said calmly. “For now.....”

“What were the Rangers worried about?” the Cryptkeeper asked.

The Spices shrugged, then returned to the Megaship. Fortunately, they found that the Rangers had found Zhane. Carlos still wanted to finish his psychology research.

“So, how did you guys do with the Psychos?” Andros asked.

“We kicked their butts,” Earl said.

“They’re still out there, though,” the Cryptkeeper added.

“Believe it or not, those opponents who claim to be faster, smarter, and stronger tend to be easier to beat,” Jenny said. “They overestimate themselves; that’s not good. Never overestimate yourself, and never underestimate your opponent.”

“If only we knew their next plan,” T.J. sighed.

“Maybe we can figure it out,” Ashley said. “Let’s go.”

The Rangers and Spices got up and went to the bridge.

“Yeah, well I’ll stay behind and clean up,” Jenny called.

As Jenny picked up the dishes, Carlos entered the room.

“Ah....” he said.

“Oh, not you again,” Jenny sighed.

“You know, Jenny, I have to admit that you had me stumped with your responses to these questions for my psychological profile.”

“That’s nice.”

They both sat at the table.

“But I persevered,” Carlos said. “I dug deep; I continued, and I got you figured out. Because of your vague responses, I had no choice but to come up with an original psychological classification just for you.”

“Okay, let’s hear it,” Jenny said.

“You have a disorder,” Carlos told her.

Jenny froze. “I beg your pardon?”

“It’s a disorder that I appropriately call ‘Fugitive-Fantasy-Fear.’ It means that you are a person who refuses to be categorized by deflecting direct questions; therefore, wearing down those seeking knowledge of you until they’re either uninterested or they surrender in frustration.”

“And this is called what?”

“Fugitive-Fantasy-Fear,” Carlos said.

“And it means what?” Jenny asked.

“It means that you refuse to be categorized by deflecting direct questions.”

“Uh....I don’t think that’s true at what’s it called again?”

“Fugitive-Fantasy-Fear. Basically, it means that you wear down those seeking knowledge of you,” Carlos explained.

“I’m not deflecting anything!” Jenny protested. “I’m just asking a question.....”

“Which is a form of deflecting, if you understand,” Carlos said.

“I understand perfectly; I’m not a stupid person!” Jenny cried. “Now this thing.....what’s it called again?”

“It’s called Fugit-Jenny, don’t you see!? You wear people down! I’m seeking knowledge of you, and you’re wearing me down!!”

“Okay, okay, ask me the questions again.”

“No thanks; I’ve gotta go.”

“No, really, I’ll answer them!”

“No; I need to help the others,” Carlos said.

“Come on, Carlos; don’t leave me like this!” Jenny cried.

“Here’s the last part,” Carlos said. “I’m uninterested; I’m surrendering in frustration. See you later.”

He left the room as Jenny broke out laughing. She continued to laugh until Carlos was out of sight. Then her smile disappeared abruptly.

“The fugitive strikes again....” she mumbled.

* * *

So the Spices have won round one against the evil Psycho Rangers. And they’ve added a powerful new team-up move to their arsenal, making them a better fighting force than ever before. Can they defeat the Psycho Rangers for good? We’ll bet they can......

The End... for now