Battle Royal
by Ellen Brand

"Write me!"

"No, me!"

"No, write me, write me!"

I spun around in exasperation and fixed the ideas behind me with a glare. "Will you all shut up? I'm working on a story here, and I can't get anything done with you all yelling in the background."

My current story, a Kimberly fic, smirked at the others. Like all my ideas, she appeared to be a Super-Deformed version of the main character, in this case, Kimberly. For those of you who don't follow anime, Super-Deformed characters are the ones used in cute or humorous sequences, with the big heads, little bodies, and even bigger than usual eyes. "Yeah," she giggled. "Just chill out and let me get finished."

"Why should you be the one getting written up?" SD Ryan Steele asked, folding his stubby arms across his chest.

"Because I'm the one in production. It's a tough race, baby."

SD Kim was right. I only have the opportunity to write up about twenty-five percent of the ideas I come up with, and as a result, they're usually in fierce competition to be the one that gets out. After they've stood behind my chair for a few months, they generally just fade away.

Tommy glared at his "girlfriend." "Well, if you didn't hog the author SD all the time, we wouldn't be so desperate," he accused.

"Hey!" interjected the little Tanya fic. "Who's the one who has the majority of the stories about him? I haven't even got one yet, and I'm probably going to get passed over again! You're a good one to talk about hogging the author."

I sighed. If they kept arguing like this, I wasn't going to get anything done. I headed into the kitchen for a drink, and tried to ignore the sounds of the full-scale fight that was emerging. Coming back, I found a scene of utter chaos, as usual.

SD Ryan and SD Tommy had my lone Ghostbusters fic backed into a corner. The little idea, currently in the form of Peter Venkman, was holding them at bay with his proton pack, but I wasn't sure how long that would last. SD Kim and SD Tanya were pulling hair over in the corner, but I ignored them. They couldn't really hurt each other.

"Guys, break it up!" I called. The last time I had let fics fight it out, they'd wound up mixing so badly that I had to scrap all of them and start over. Kittie had not been pleased with me.

"Come on, I promised Jeremy I'd have this story done, and I'm almost out of time. Now shut up, or I'll never be able to write any of you." That quieted them down, and I returned to my work. For a long moment, all was quiet, and then...

"Write me!"

"No, write me!"

"Get that proton pack outta my face!"

"Make me, ponytail boy."

I sighed.