DISCLAIMER: Saban owns all that is Power Rangers. Anyone from (THE REAL) Saved by the Bell is owned by NBC. Carleton Productions runs You Can't Do That on Television. All other characters-- credit me if you wanna use them! And by the way, did you know that before Jason and Co. became Rangers, there were six others? Zordon didn't want anyone to find out, because these kids were way too goofy... And it's rated TV-Y7 FV, due to teen goofiness and martial arts action...

By Duke Brown

It landed in the football field of Bayside High School in Palisades, California, creating a huge crater. Samuel "Screech" Powers was the first one to notice.

"Hey guys!" Screech shouted. "Look at this!" All the students from Bayside High gathered around the strange object.

"This is terrific!" hissed A. C. Slater. "I was supposed to have practice today."

"Pigskin for the pig, huh?" snarled Jessie Spano, Slater's on-again, off-again girlfriend.

At a loss for words, Slater slapped Jessie on her butt. "Fly," he smirked.

Jessie popped him upside the head. "Tapeworm," she countered.

"This just clashes with the color of the field!" shouted Lisa Turtle. "We have got to color this over."

"You want to paint it?" Kelly Kapowski asked.

Lisa turned and asked, "You're kidding, right?"

"Everyone just stand back," Principal Belding warned, "we don't know where it's been."

"It fell from the sky! Duh!" Screech snapped.

"Just stand back," Mr. Belding repeated. "Where's Zack?"

Zack Morris was leaning on the object. He inhaled and coughed. "Yuck!" Zack fumed. "It smells like a dumpster."

"Zack, get off of that right now!" Belding ordered.

"Yeah, Preppie!" Slater barked. "You didn't find it, so don't bother taking credit for it!"

"No," Zack smirked in that charming way that he had. The smile didn't work with a few people: his parents, Jessie, Lisa, Kelly, Belding, and Slater. As Zack argued with Kelly, Lisa, Slater, Jessie, and Belding, Screech tripped over a rock and all seven ended up opening the strange object by pushing off the top.

"YUCK!" Everybody moaned.

Zack smirked. "We opened a harmless little dumpster!" he chirped.

"AHHH! After ten thousand years, I am free!" cried a shrill voice. It belonged to a strange-looking Asian lady with white hair. She climbed out of the dumpster, followed by an assortment of monsters. A winged humanoid with canine and simian features led the monsters, followed by a fat goofy blue one, a skinny six-armed furry one, a younger Asian female in gold armor, an elfish creature, and some clayish creatures.

Slater looked at the new arrivals. "Harmless, huh?"

The white-haired lady spoke. "I am Rita Repulsa, Empress of Evil!" She pointed ho her companions. "And these are my minions: The MonkeyDog guy with wings is Goldar! The golden woman is Scorpina! That fat one is Squatt! The skinny one is Baboo! And the elf is Finster! And those drones are my Putties! Now that I have introduced ourselves, it is time to conquer Earth!"

"Now just a minute Miss Repulsa!" The all-too-purebread Belding shouted. "You just cannot come in and take over the Earth!"

"Watch me, Balding!" Rita snickered as she and her goons disappeared.

"That's 'Belding'!" Kelly shouted.

"Whatever," Rita snarled and disappeared again.

"Look what you did," Belding snarled at Zack. "You have just unleashed a terrible force of evil! What have you got to say for yourself?"

"Um, oops?" Zack grinned sheepishly.

"DETENTION!" Belding snapped.

"But it wouldn't have happened if Screech tripped!" Zack said.

They all looked at Screech.

"You dork," Lisa roared.

"It could have been worse," Screech pleaded, "That Rita lady could have sent down a monster to destroy the city."

As if in answer, a monster dressed like a Sphinx stormed the city.

"You just had to say something, didn't you?" Slater said angrily.

"Get him!" Jessie yelled. Screech ran, followed by an angry mob, with Belding bringing up the rear.

"No running in the halls!" Belding shouted.

* * *

"Alpha, Rita has escaped." Zordon of Eltare frowned in his stasis tube. Addressing his robot aide, Alpha V, the warrior-turned-wizard looked at the viewing globe.

"AIY-YI-YI-YI-YI!" Alpha wailed. "What are we going to do?"

"Alpha, we must begin the 'Power Rangers' project."

"That makes sense, Zordon."

"Recruit a team of teenagers with attitude."

That did not make sense.

"TEENAGERS?!" Alpha shouted. "AIY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI! I have a bad feeling about this..."

* * *

The chase had Screech running from Zack, Lisa, Jessie, Slater, Kelly, and Belding who had pulled up with Kelly. He was demanding the teens to stop running or it was detention for everybody when a flash of light caused Belding and the six teens to disappear. All the students stopped then.

"Whoa," one student said, "you think they're coming back?"

"They'd better," another said. "Zack Morris owes me ten bucks!"

* * *

"Where are we?" Belding asked.

"Welcome," a floating head said. "I am Zordon, an intergalactic dimensional being. I have assembled you today because I need you to save the world."

"You've been hanging around Jessie too long," Slater sneered.

"I heard that, Macho boy!" Jessie screamed.

"Who you calling 'boy', chick?" Slater hissed.

The two began arguing as Lisa and Kelly looked around.

Lisa wrinkled her nose in disgust. "This look has got to go," she sneered. "This is a fashion don't."

Screech stared at Alpha. "You should meet my robot Kevin," he said. "He's single."

"AIY-YI-YI-YI-YI!!" Alpha snapped. "I have male programming!"


Zack was poking at Zordon's stasis tube. "How do you open this thing?" he asked.

"Zack, stop it!" Kelly shouted. "This place is scary."

They all began chattering until Belding said, "STOP IT!" Everybody snapped to attention. "Now, let Mr. Zordon speak."

"An evil being known as Rita Repulsa has escaped her domain, as you are all aware," Zordon said.

"Some of us should be," Lisa said, glaring at Zack and Screech.

"You must stop her."

"What can we do?" Screech said. "Join the army?"

"Don't make me pound you," Slater snarled.

"Actually," Zordon said, "Screech's assumption is correct. I need you to join my army called the Power Rangers."

In a flash of light, the teens were covered in strange costumes. Zack was Red, Lisa was Yellow, Slater was Black, Kelly was Pink, Jessie was Blue, and Screech was Green.

"Eww!" Lisa hissed. "Spandex!"

Zordon read off the list. "Because of Zack's fiery spirit, he is the Red Ranger and draws his power from the Tyrannosaurus."

"A Tyrannosaurus causes less disaster," Slater stated.

Zordon continued. "Lisa is cunning and mighty. As the Yellow Ranger, she is powered by the Sabre-Tooth Tiger."

"Cunning especially when it comes to a sale at the mall," Zack snorted. Lisa growled.

"The Mastodon fuels the Black Ranger, due to the power and strength of Slater," Zordon said.

"And all the breeding of a Mastodon, with half the brain and even less class," Jessie sneered.

Without missing a beat, Zordon marched on. "Kelly is agile and swift. The Pterodactyl will power her as the Pink Ranger."

"And she looks great in tights," Zack added. Kelly growled at Zack.

"Jessie's intellect comes from the Triceratops," Zordon continued, "and for this, she is the Blue Ranger."

"I never thought that I'd see the day when I'd see Jessie Spano in hot pants," Slater giggled. Jessie was about to charge Slater when the others held her back.

Zordon concluded his assignments. "And Screech is the Green Ranger due to his mythological presence. He is powered by the Dragon..."

"And looks like one too!" Lisa said.

"You know you love a man in green," Screech said.

"Kermit the Frog," she replied.

"Go, and May the Power Protect You," Zordon said.

"Zack, that doesn't mean, you get off detention for this!" Belding shouted.

* * *

The Power Rangers landed in the middle of Angel Grove high. They stared in front of King Sphinx.

"Uh-oh," the Pink Ranger frowned.

"WE NEED..." The Red Ranger stammered, "...WE NEED... SOMETHING!"

"A bazooka!" Green Ranger chirped.

"I'd like to use it on you," the Yellow Ranger sneered.

"How's that, Preppie?" The Black Ranger pointed to six robotic beasts which matched their helmets and abilities.

"Zords," the Blue Ranger cooed.

The Green Ranger pulled out his Dragon Dagger and played a polka. His DragonZord danced a jig, crushing Belding's car.

* * *

"My car!" Belding screamed.

* * *

The other Power Rangers somehow managed to form the MegaZord. The DragonZord was still dancing. The chaos in Palisades, California, paled in comparison to the the chaos inside the Megazord.

"I wanna drive, Preppie," The Black Ranger snapped.

"No, let me," the Yellow Ranger demanded.

"I am Student Body President," the Blue Ranger demanded, "I should drive!"

"I'm cute!" The Pink Ranger roared. "I should drive!"

"I'm the leader! I'm driving!" The Red Ranger said.

"Who said you're the leader, Zack?"

"I did, Slater!"

"He's always doing this! Zack, you just have to be selfish!"

"Kelly, I have the main Zord!"

"You're a main pain in the--"

"Don't say it, Jessie!"

"Don't tell me what to say, Lisa!"

While the Power Rangers bickered, the DragonZord's dancing tail whipped into King Sphinx, sending him into MegaZord. MegaZord's bickering pilots unknowingly pushed King Sphinx, sending the monster falling on Bayside High.

* * *

"THE SCHOOL!" Belding screamed.

"Oh, no..." Zordon groaned.

"I told you so," Alpha snapped.

"Those kids are facing lifetime detention!!" Belding roared.

* * *

The Green Ranger was dancing up a storm, and so was the DragonZord. While playing, the DragonZord's missiles destroyed King Sphinx who was still laying on top of the school. The others stopped bickering long enough to see...


All six Rangers demorphed and looked at the school. "What have you done?!" Jessie screamed at Screech.

"ME?!" Screech shot back. "He was laying there. I didn't mean to shoot him! I'm a monster killer!"

"You also blew up the school, you dufus!" Lisa roared.

Zack hugged Screech. "Thank you," he said over and over.

"Of course Zack would be happy," Slater grumbled.

"We're gonna be paying for this out of our allowances until the end of time!" Kelly moaned.

"No," Zack smiled, "the Power Rangers wrecked the school."

"Belding knows we're the Power Rangers," Kelly said.

"So what?" Zack strutted around the school. "He can't blow the whistle on us!"

At that moment, a very furious Mr. Belding teleported down. "You... you..." Belding stammered angrily.

"We... we..." Zack said, obviously mocking the principal.

"You have destroyed the school. You have wrecked my car. You have brought a new low to higher education. What do you have to say for yourselves?!"

All six teens pointed to each other and said, "HE/SHE DID IT!"

While the teens bickered, Belding pressed a dial on his comlink and said, "Do something."

* * *

"These Rangers are obviously too goofy," Zordon said. "Alpha, prepare the Reverse machine."

"Right away Zordon!" Alpha was too happy to oblige. He had had enough of these foolish children.

The Reverse machine ran time back for 24 hours, which was how long it took to recharge the machine.

"Did it work?" Alpha asked.

Sure enough, there was Rita's dumpster heading towards Earth. Since it could not be destroyed, the dumpster could be pushed away from Palisades, California. Very far away.

"Engage the repulsion beam." The beam sent Rita's dumpster far away from Palisades.

"There," Zordon said. "Now, we don't have to worry about stupid children getting the powers."

* * *

At that moment, in Ottawa, Canada, a group of children and teenagers walked out of a TV studio and saw a huge funny-looking dumpster.

"What is that?" one asked.

"I don't know," another answered. From out of nowhere, green-colored slime fell on him.

"Let's use it as a prop!"

The teens dragged the dumpster into the studio where the stage manager took one look and yelled, "Hey! You Can't Use That on Television!"

* * *

It would be weeks before Alpha and Zordon finally got it right.

* * *


Principal Belding had paired the last two together. Lisa Turtle, a senior, was paired with her Freshman Buddy For A Week, Raven Valhalla. Zack Morris was paired with Tommy Oliver, who would be moving to Angel Grove in a few months.

"Even though Tommy's leaving," Lisa said, "he still needs a Freshman Buddy."

"No ideas," Belding growled.

"Mr. Belding?" Tommy asked.

"Everytime I think of Zack Morris and the Power Rangers in one thought," Belding answered, "I get so angry, and I don't know why."

"What, I'm a Power Ranger?" Zack asked.

"That's as likely as me becoming a Power Ranger," Tommy snickered.


Dedicated to CARL TURNER, without whom, Power Ranger FanFics would always be serious and confined to Power Rangers only; ELLEN BRAND, my favorite FanFic Author and Queen of heartbreak; JEREMY RAY LOGSDON, for giving me the chance and finding my tales a home, and FELIX H. BROWN, III for being a bad influence.