The Spice Club members have been pretty bored lately. Probably because the Power Rangers and the bad guys were duking it out in outer space. The Spices' time for excitement came when they got a call from Dimitria.
"Spice Club, you must listen to me carefully. As you know, the Power Rangers have been doing battle with evil out in space."
"Yes, we know," Jenny said.
"And now, the Power Rangers have been captured by the Dark Specter," Dimitria went on.
"Let me guess; you want us to go out there and free them?" Jenny asked.
"Yes. You'll have to go to the space station and rent a rocket."
"That won't be necessary," Marvin said. "Brak, Zorak, and I came from space; we can use our ships. I'm sure there'll be enough room for all of us."
"Three separate ships?" Jenny asked.
"Yes, but we can join them together into one."
Jenny thought for a moment. "Dimitria . . . we'll do it."
"Outer space, all right!" cried the Cryptkeeper. "Grab your weapons and let's blast off!"
They boarded the ships and blasted off. Of course they were nervous; they held hands for comfort.
"You know the funny thing?" Jenny said to her team. "When I was little, I've always wanted to go out into space. And now that I've changed my mind, I actually get to go."
"Oh, come on, Sis; this'll be fun!" Hallie cried.
"You must beware, though," Marvin explained. "Those of you who are unfamiliar with the space atmosphere could experience a condition called 'space madness.' "
"Space madness? What's that?" Sal asked.
"Its only symptom is complete insanity. There is no known cure or prevention."
The Spices nodded. Once they were out of Earth's atmosphere, the three ships connected. Hallie and Kathy stared out the window the whole time.
"Hey, Spinal, you really oughtta check this out; this is cool," the Cryptkeeper called.
Spinal looked out the window just to see a white comet rush by.
"Whoa! What was that?" he asked.
"Uh, that's a comet," C.K. replied.
"Or it could be a shooting star," Jenny added. "Or are they the same thing?"
The others shrugged their shoulders. Suddenly, their ship began to shake. The Spices looked out the window again and spotted the Astro Megaship.
"We're gonna crash!" C.C. cried.
"Maybe not," Marvin said. "I'll see if I can steer this thing away from it."
He rushed to the steering wheel. The others noticed the Astro Megaship opening up and beginning to pull them in.
"Hey, it's opening," Hallie observed.
"I can't turn away!" Marvin called.
It was too late. They were already inside the Astro Megaship and it closed them in.
"Well, since we're stuck here, why don't we scout around?" suggested Curly.
"Good idea," Jenny replied as they stepped out of their ship and into the Megaship. "Oh, my word, where are we?"
The Megaship appeared to be empty, so they cautiously walked through the hallways. They passed something which resembed a small red light. Spinal saw it as a glowing red eye, so he leaned away from it as he passed.
"Hello?" Jenny called. "Anybody home? Come out, come out, wherever you are! Your spicy guests are here!"
"Quiet!" Spinal snapped. "What if whoever's on this ship is evil?"
"So what? Are you afraid I'm going to wake the dead!?"
"I think she already has," the Cryptkeeper whispered.
"Uh, do you guys think that there's even anyone on this ship?" Hanim asked.
"I dunno," Brooklyn said.
They walked into the engine room and took a quick look around, then found the ship's bridge. Jay came in and sat in one of the chairs.
"Jay, get up; this is not our ship," Jenny said.
"But I'm tired of walking," Jay complained.
"Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch," Sal said.
"Guys, please," Spinal said. "I really don't want to witness any fighting amongst us."
"And neither do the rest of us," Jenny added. "Now break it up before you break this place. Gosh, didn't your moms teach you to respect other people's property?"
Just then, Aracula raced into the room and tugged on Jenny's arm.
"Whoa! What's wrong, Aracula?" she asked.
Aracula hissed and shrieked loudly as he pointed to the door.
"Aracula, slow down; I can't understand you," Jenny said.
Then the reason for Aracula's panic stepped into the doorway. It looked like a Red Ranger. The Spices gasped and hid behind the computers, chairs, and anything else they found. Jenny, however, held her ground.
"T.J.? Did you get new Power Ranger costumes?"
"You know T.J.?" the Red Ranger asked. "Who are you?"
"Yeah, we're allies of the Power Rangers. We call ourselves the Spice Club," Jenny explained. "We were told that all the Rangers were captured."
"I just escaped, and I've got enemies on my tail."
The Red Ranger went to the controls and started guiding the Astro Megaship. He peeked over the console and found Spinal lying on the floor. Spinal gasped and stood up.
"I think you're scaring my friends, mister," Jenny said to the Red Ranger. "Hey guys, come on out."
"Spice Club, eh?" asked the Red Ranger. "The other Rangers have told me much about you."
"So, if you're not T.J., then who are you?" Jenny asked.
"I am called Andros."
"Cool. I'm Jenny, also called Tonfa Spice. This is Aracula, also called Bony Spice, and that's Spinal . . ."
"Also called Spinal Spice," Spinal concluded for her.
Jenny then called out the names of the other Spices.
"Wow. I just hope I can remember all of you," Andros said.
"Unidentified space craft approaching," called a female voice.
Suddenly, the enemy spaceship fired lasers which struck the Megaship. The attacks caused the Megaship to get pulled onto the nearby planet. The ship hit the ground with a loud boom.
"Well, any landing you can walk away from, eh, Andros?" the Cryptkeeper asked.
"My bags are packed," Jenny said. "I'm ready to leave in a moment's notice."
"What bags? Where are we going?" Spinal asked.
"Deca, can we take off?" Andros asked.
"Mega-accelerators are down. Launch is impossible," the female voice replied.
"Let me hide in your basement," Jenny said. "The ultra sonic waves cannot find me there."
"Honey, are you feeling okay?" C.K. asked.
"The Quantrons are nearing attack position," Deca informed them.
Andros stepped into an elevator. "Open the outer space hatch."
The doors closed. The Spices stared at the monitor and watched as Andros raced into battle. They got closer and carefully monitored the Quantrons' fighting tactics.
"Oh, I hated those things," Spinal cried.
"They think I'm crazy, but I know better," Jenny muttered. "It is not I who am crazy. It is I who am mad!"
"Oh dear," Marvin said. "She must be suffering from space madness. I don't know what we can do."
"Whoo! Look at that guy go!" Curly shouted.
Andros executed a flying kick which took out six Quantrons at once.
"Wow! Think you're going to try that move, Spinal?" asked the Cryptkeeper.
"I probably could, but I don't know if it'll take out six Quantrons at once," Spinal replied. "Besides, those guys were standing there just waiting to be slaughtered."
"You know what? I think you're right. It's weird."
"Whoa. Those Quantrons really use teamwork," Hanim observed.
"Which means we're really going to have to help each other out on this one," Guile added.
In the monitor, Andros continued to fight the Quantrons effectively.
"Boom ba-ba, boom ba-ba!" Jenny chanted.
The other Spices looked at her, confused.
"Hey, I like that," the Cryptkeeper said.
Together, they chanted. "Boom ba-ba, boom ba-ba, boom ba-ba, boom!"
"Hey, I think we scared 'em off!" Sal yelled, observing that the Quantrons were retreating.
"Come on, let's go outside," Hallie suggested.
So they went out to greet Andros. Andros stood there mysteriously.
"Power down!" he yelled.
The Power Ranger costume vanished to reveal a brown-haired guy.
"Oooh, you're human," Jenny said.
"What'd you expect?" Andros asked.
"I was expecting an alien being of some sort," Jenny replied.
"Andros, I have finished examining the damage," Deca said.
"All right; I'm on my way," said Andros.
Jenny grabbed his arm and started dragging him into the ship. "Come on, everybody, let's get into that ship and get the other Rangers!"
"Would you be patient!" Andros cried, breaking free. "The Rangers are strong; it'll take some time for the Dark Specter to drain them of their powers, which gives me some time."
"Just you, huh?" asked Brayker. "You can go ahead and ignore us."
Andros walked back into the ship and the Spices followed him.
"We all have the same goal: To save the Power Rangers," Spinal said.
"What do you guys know about space?" asked Andros.
"Well . . ." Jenny took a deep breath. "We know that the Earth is located in a solar system which consists of nine planets which rotate around the sun, and the solar system is located in the Milky Way Galaxy. The nine planets are called Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Earth is the only planet that supports life as far as we know, Venus is polluted with acid rain and has a greenhouse effect, Mars is also called the Red Planet, Jupiter's gravity is far too great, and stars explode to become black holes with an also great gravity."
"She's trying to say that we don't know anything about space," Brak said.
"Exactly," said Andros as he climbed up the laddar.
"Wait! We'll learn, we'll learn!" Hallie cried.
"Andros, there is no way in hell you can protect the entire universe by yourself!" Jenny shrieked.
"That's no reason why we can't fight by your side, Mr. Andros," Kathy said.
Jenny grabbed the laddar and started shaking herself as Andros tested the engines. Then Andros came back down the laddar.
"Where are you going now?" C.C. asked.
"I'm going to work on your ships and see if they can make it back to Earth."
"Wait a minute. We didn't come all the way out here just to turn around and go all the way back to Earth," Guile said.
"Don't worry. I'll find a way to free the other Rangers." And with that, Andros left the room.
"Die, Quantrons, die!" Jenny screamed out of nowhere, swinging her sticks about. Then she did a cartwheel, then came up with her leaping knee attack into the air. "Whoo, that was fun!"
"We have to calm her down somehow," Hanim said.
"Maybe that's exactly what she needs; a little action," the Cryptkeeper said. "And we just missed our chance."
"Your ship is ready," Andros called. "It'll take you back to Earth."
The Spice Club stepped outside and Andros took off.
"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to go back and guard the Earth in case any new bad guys show up," Cammy said.
"All right, before we go, is everybody present and accounted for?" the Cryptkeeper asked.
They looked around. "Yeah, we're all here." They saw Jenny screwing around.
"Come on, Sis, we're going home!" Hallie called.
"Maybe that will calm her down," said Lexington.
Before they could take two steps, the Quantrons appeared out of nowhere between Jenny and the other Spices. The Quantrons had they backs turned to Jenny, so she ran off unnoticed. The other Spices raced into action. They fought aggressively, clumsily, and yet effectively. Unfortunately, the Quantrons still had the upper hand. They kicked Hallie back and forth until she fell. Then she sprang to her feet and sliced one with her fan blades.
Jenny hadn't actually fled from the scene. She watched eagerly, hopping up and down, clapping her hands, and squealing. She even performed a couple of dance steps. She then gasped in horror when she realized that the Quantrons had seized all the other Spices. The silver creatures tried to take the Spices' weapons away, but the Spices had mastered the technique of holding on to their weapons, no matter what happened. The Quantrons brought them forward, then some explosions popped out in front of them, startling them. A purple-haired woman in black named Astronema appeared. She approached the Spice Club with a sinister smile. When she reached them, they stopped struggling and stared.
"Hi, Astronema," the Cryptkeeper said bitterly.
"Astronema? You know who I am? How is that possible?"
"Oh." C.K. looked at his pals. "She doesn't remember us."
"More Power Rangers?" Astronema asked.
"Mmmm . . . no. No Power Rangers here," said Brooklyn.
"Then who are you?"
"Come on; you remember us!" cried the Cryptkeeper. "We're the Spice Club!"
"Oh yes, now I remember," Astronema said. "I vowed to come back and get you. Well now I've got you! Heh heh."
Spinal's eyes glowed even brighter as he lunged at Astronema. He struggled violently, but the Quantrons held him still. Astronema turned to him.
"Mmm, and who is this adorable little guy?" she asked.
Spinal stopped struggling and sighed wearily. Then he noticed Jenny approaching behind Astronema. Jenny gestured for Spinal to keep quiet.
"Shh. Don't say anything!" she whispered.
Spinal lunged at Astronema one more time, but it proved futile.
"Settle down, you . . . adorable little guy," the Cryptkeeper said, not wanting to reveal Spinal's name.
The other Spices noticed Jenny trying to signal to them. She kicked behind her, trying to indicate that it was what they should do to break free. However, the Spices didn't understand her. The Quantron that stood beside Astronema noticed Jenny, then turned Astronema's attention to her. Jenny ran a few steps, pivoted around, then somersaulted and threw punches into the air with her sticks.
"Oh, don't mind her," the Cryptkeeper said. "That's just Tonfa Spice, our leader. Perfect first impression, huh?"
"Hmph!" Astronema and Jenny approached each other in the same fashion. "So . . . Tonfa Spice. Tell me, where did the Red Ranger go?"
Jenny gestured for Astronema to come closer, then whispered into her ear. "The Red Ranger got stranded on the planet Run-run-yum-sun-son." Jenny backed up and laughed insanely at the ridiculous sound of the made-up planet.
"Hmph," Astronema said again, turning to the Quantron beside her. "Destroy her."
The Quantron nodded, then approached Jenny. Jenny backed up some more and took a fighting stance while putting on a silly grin. The Quantron made the first attack, cutting one side of her face. Jenny placed her palm flat on the wound and licked the blood off. Then while letting the blood rest on her tongue, she let out a maniacal scream and lunged at her foe. Her laughter continued as she threw the Quantron over her shoulder. She whacked it with her sticks, then cartwheeled into it, then sent it flying into the air with her rising knee. Finally, she took a deep breath. She approached the unconscious Quantron, kneeled over it, and planted a kiss on its forehead.
"Astronema, you've cured me," she said.
"Cured you of what?" asked Astronema.
"Oh, never mind; it's not important."
"You will tremble, for I am your worst nightmare!"
"Oh please. I'm gonna become your worst nightmare once I send you and all these earrings back to hell."
"Oooh, 'earrings,' that's a good one," Curly said.
"Face it, Astronema. You can't destroy me or the other Spices," Jenny went on. Then she pointed at Spinal. "You can't even destroy that little nipper there."
"Maybe I don't want to destroy the little nipper," Astronema said, approaching Spinal again. She slowly ran her finger across his bottom jaw.
"Careful; he bites," Jenny told her.
"He's not biting me."
At that instant, Spinal bit Astronema's finger. When she pulled her hand away, she noticed teeth marks.
"Told ya," Jenny said.
"Does he talk?"
"Ummm . . ." Jenny looked at Spinal, wondering if she should answer. Spinal nodded, indicating that it was a secret he's willing to tell. "Yeah, he talks."
"Good. So . . . do you have a name?" Astronema asked.
"Do I need one?" Spinal asked.
"Of course you do. I need something to address you with."
"I'm sure you'll think of something."
"I know. How about Bones?"
"Whatever. That's not my real name, though. That's all I can tell you."
"But not to worry, Astronema," Jenny added. "I'm sure you'll find out his real name soon enough, as well as the rest of us."
"Let us go, you ugly old witch!" Spinal demanded.
"I'll give the orders around here!" Astronema said. "But enough about Bones. You Spices are a sorry sight."
"We're cute, you mean," Jenny snapped.
Astronema took a good long look at each of the members. "Yeah, I'd say you're right."
She walked back and forth, eyeing each of them.
" 'Mmm-mmm, look at these cute people!' " Jenny quoted.
"Don't mess with me, kid; you wouldn't like me when I'm mad!" Astronema shouted.
"I don't like you now!"
Astronema glared at her, then paced back and forth again. She stopped to glare at the giant mantis Zorak.
"What are you staring at?"
Zorak responded by spitting neon green acid just below her neck. The acid started to eat into her outfit as steam floated from the sizzling spot. Astronema stared down, then glared at Zorak again.
"Ah, who needs you anyway?"
"Pssst, Jenn, whose side are you on?" Spinal whispered.
"Just be patient; I think the plan is working," Jenny replied.
"The plan to drive Astronema to insanity. Just keep annoying her."
Astronema stopped in front of Sal. "Mmm, you're a handsome fellow. All you have to do is concentrate on my beauty, and you'll be my slave."
"I'll try, lady, but I can't get past that zit on your chin," Sal said.
The other Spices couldn't help bursting into laughter.
"Now that was cold," Jenny muttered.
"Hmph! You stink," Astronema said in disgust.
"Aww, you're breaking my heart; you're breaking it in two," Sal said. "Here's a little something. Whoo."
Suddenly, a loud boom filled the air. The clouds opened up as the Astro Megaship came through, firing at the Quantrons. The Spices were freed, and they ran to avoid the explosions.
"Hey, it's Andros!" C.C. cried.
Andros raced out of the ship and joined the Spices. Astronema once again glared at them.
"You think you're so tough?" she asked. "Well, you may be tough when you're all together, but let's see how tough you are in one-on-one battles."
"And how are you going to make us fight one-on-one battles?" asked Andros.
"I'm going to speak to the Dark Specter. I want to hold a tournament right here on this planet. If you win, we'll let the other Rangers go free."
"Do you guys think you're up for it?" Andros asked.
"Of course," the Spices replied.
"You're on, Astronema!"
"Good. You'll have lots of fine opponents, such as Goldar, Scorpina, Gasket, Archerina, General Havoc, and of course Elgar. I hear he likes you, Tonfa Spice."
"Yeah, whatever," Jenny muttered.
"And if you're lucky, one of you will have the honor of facing the Dark Specter himself. Well, time to go. I will return."
With that, she and the Quantrons vanished.
"Andros, what are you doing here?" Jenny asked.
"I thought about what you all said, and I think you've got a point," Andros replied. "After the experience I've had with the other Rangers, it's true that I can't protect the entire universe by myself."
"Tournament, huh?" asked the Cryptkeeper. "I like that idea. This is going to be great."
"Yeah, but we must be careful," Andros said. "Astronema can't be trusted."
"I agree; I know bad guys by now," Jenny said. "They're not going to let the Rangers go if we win."
"Then what do we do; cheat?" Brooklyn asked.
"Not exactly. We'll just have to find a different way," Andros replied.
Just then, a giant lava rock-like creature appeared in front of them. The Spices gasped and hid behind Jenny.
"Holy shit!" Sal cried.
"I am Dark Specter, monarch of all that is evil," the creature said. "Astronema has informed me of a tournament and I am here to approve. The battle will begin here in twenty-four hours; the United Alliance of Evil versus the Spice Club. Be warned; the end of your lives draw near."
The Dark Specter then vanished. The Spice Club let out a sigh of relief. Jenny turned to them.
"What's the matter, you guys? You weren't scared of him just because he's bigger, were you?" she asked.
"Let's just say that the Dark Specter definitely lives up to his name," Spinal replied. "Phew!"
"Hey Spinal, you nervous about the tournament?" inquired the Cryptkeeper.
"Just a little bit. Why?"
"Are you guys familiar with fighting one-on-one?" asked Andros.
"Of course. As a matter of fact, one-on-ones are our specialty," Jenny told him.
"Well, we'd better start getting ready."
"I have to make a diary entry before I do anything."
"Well, hurry up with that diary entry, honey," said the Cryptkeeper. "I wanna spar wit ya."
But before they could do anything, several streaks of light flashed through the sky. It was clearly a sign of teleportation. They each landed side-by- side in front of the Spices. When the light faded, five warriors took shape. Five warriors named Ninjor, Auric the Conqueror, Trey the Gold Ranger, the Phantom Ranger, and the Blue Senturion. The Spice Club was surprised to see them.
"Greetings, Spice Club, it's great to see you," said Ninjor.
"Ninjor, where've ya been?" Sal asked.
"Oh, I've been around," Ninjor replied.
"You must not despair, Spice Club," said the Phantom Ranger. "We're here to help you win the tournament and rescue the other Rangers."
"Thanks, but how can you help us win the tournament?" Jenny asked. "We'll all be fighting one-on-one battles here."
"We should be able to handle them," Jay said.
"Those monsters are no match for us, are they, Sis?" Hallie asked.
"Of course not, Candy Spice," Auric said before Jenny could respond. "Not even the Dark Specter himself can defeat us. We are the most powerful warriors in the universe! Wouldn't you agree, Tonfa Spice?"
"I guess..." Jenny muttered. "Listen, I must prepare for tomorrow. Catch you people later."
She walked into the ship followed by half the others. She went into the bridge, sat down, and pulled out her diary.
" 'Dear Diary: Astronema and the Dark Specter have challenged us to a tournament which will begin tomorrow. The other Spice Club members are already preparing for it. Jay and Sal are sparring, Aracula is hopping up and down as if he were standing in the oven, Spinal is sleeping, and Zorak is laying upside down in a chair. The Cryptkeeper is waiting outside for me to spar with him. Yes, we're all relaxed and confident, maybe even somewhat giddy. According to the Dark Specter, the other Rangers will be released if we are victorious, but there is no guarantee. We have to come up with a back- up plan, just in case.' "
Jenny closed her book and stood up. Out of nowhere, Zorak let out a groan.
"Those monsters are going to kick my hinder!" he complained.
Jenny looked at him, confused. "Why are you so worried about your hinder?"
"Because . . . I've been told I have a cute hinder."
"Told? By whom?" Marvin asked.
"By experts," Zorak told him.
As Jenny started out of the bridge, she paused and looked at Spinal, who was on the floor sound asleep. When he sleeps, he looks totally lifeless. Jenny chuckled to herself and walked on. When she got outside, she found Hallie and Kathy stepping back and forth.
"Ahem . . . what are you doing?"
"We're exercising," Hallie replied.
"Looks more like dancing to me," Jenny said.
"Dancing is exercise, Jenny," Kathy told her.
"Oh boy; we're gonna be great out there, aren't we, Sis?" Hallie asked.
"Yeah, we're gonna eat their hearts out," Jenny said.
The Cryptkeeper cleared his throat. "Let's get hot. Kiss kiss."
Jenny chuckled again, then prepared to face her lover in combat. The
tournament was sure to be exciting and important . . .
The tournament outcome will be revealed in a "news report" type of story.
Think you can wait for it?